Shark of the Land
by J.A. Diablerie
Summary: When a shady prick offers you magical/cursed fruit in an alley and promises adventure, just punch them in the face and call the police. An SI-OC story. Rated T for lots of angry swearing.
1. Prologue

A frustrated groan left my throat as I walked an empty street, adjusting my backpack around my right shoulder.

Getting fired really sucked. Didn't help that it was the thirteenth time this week, a new personal record. So what if I lost my temper a punched the third moron of a customer who doesn't understand the words "I can't help you, go bother someone else", the dicks.

Once again my temper got me out of a job, much to no one's surprise. I had grown a bit famous because of it. The _"Hair Trigger"_ the hip kids called me, ready to blow at a moments notice. I'd be honored at how accurate and fitting it was if it didn't dissuade possible employers. I mean, it's totally not my fault I have to deal with moronic assholes and am _actually_ expected to "deal with it". Fuck. That. Noise.

Sadly it also meant I wouldn't be able to pay my rent this month.

Fuck.

...

Internalization isn't working. I moved to a nearby side alley, saw a big metal dumpster and apologized in advance.

"FUCK!" I exclaimed my _displeasure_ as I kicked the dumpster with my heel hard enough to dent it. God damnit, why did part-time jobs need to be so fucking demanding! Why did everyone in the world suddenly become drooling fruits that exist only to piss me the fuck off! Fuck this shit!

I inhaled deeply and slowly let the anger out of my system, as my therapist nagged me to do when I was losing it.

Calm...

 _Calm... ..._

...

"THIS DOESN'T FUCKING WORK!" I repeated the violent action on the innocent dumpster a few more times, each time denting it a bit more. I was too mad to care about possible property damage. My rent wasn't going to get paid, so let's go all the fucking way!

After I got that out there I finally started to calm down. Thank god no officers of the law were nearby or I'd probably end up spending the night downtown.

And no one would be happy about that.

"I do think the dumpster gets the point by now." I flinch and instinctively swivel around to knock whoever snook up on me in the noggin', only to have my fist deflected, then my leg swept under me. I landed on my back, my head clonking on the concrete quite intimately.

"FUCKING HELL!" The pain shot along the back of my head in a way that I just had to vocalize in an intelligent manner. "Jesus fuck, what the shit?!"

The voice had the fucking gall to chuckle at my pain. I gripped the back of my head with hand while propping myself up with the other. Then I glared at the one who dared sneak up on me and then make a fool out of me.

It was a man, based on the voice and what little I could see of the basic body build. His entire form was covered by a black hooded cloak. I couldn't make out most of his face from the shadows of the hood. I stared at him blankly.

"Hello, McSparklyass V. Ampire," I greeted him mockingly. Seriously, what kind of an asshole do you have to be to go around in a cape like that?

"Oh, please spare me of indignity, Stephanie Meyer!" He stated in mock-hurt while wearing a toothy grin. He clearly was in the know. "We all knows Jacob is where all the tail goes to."

I groan at the borderline painful pun. And the statement as a whole. I get up just as the prick shows the _"decency"_ to help me up. I ignore his hand, denying him satisfaction and glare murder at the prick.

"Hasn't your mother told you that it's rude to sneak up on people?" I spit venomously.

"Hasn't _your_ mother told you that punching strangers is ill form?" The man shot back at me with what I deduced was sass.

The fucker just sassed me.

...

Fuck this guy!

"As a matter of fact, no." I growled.

"So, how's life going for you?" He abruptly changed the subject, much to my annoyance.

"Fuck off, creep!"

"Wow. That tongue. Scalding. Need any ice for that?" He _snarks_ , the fuck.

My eye twitches as I grow more annoyed at this guy as seconds tick by. "Why the hell are you bothering me?"

"Oh, you know," He drawls sickeningly pleasantly. "Reasons."

"Marvelous. I'll be going then." I say dryly as I went to move by him but he quickly stepped in the way.

"No-now wait a moment! I was kidding, okay? Can't you take a friendly gag?" The creep sputtered. I scoffed.

"Not from some random creep who snuck up on me in an alley," I said, maintaining my glare game.

He actually had the decency to seem embarrassed. "Aah, my bad then. Sorry about that, my man. No hard feelings, m'kay?"

A vein popped up on my forehead, I grit my teeth together and my eye twitched dangerously. "I'm a girl." I seethed with barely contained desire to open a can of whoop-ass on this prick.

He was silent and I can tell he was staring at me. Then his stare went slightly lower. Then back to my face.

"... My sympathies."

"YOU WANNA GO?!" I raised my fist, ready to clobber this asshole for how sincere he sounded.

"N-now wait a moment!" He raised his hands defensively, showing black sleeves. "I didn't intend for that to come out as it did. I just wished to talk, that's all."

"WELL BETTER MAKE IT SNAPPY OR ELSE SOMETHING ELSE SNAPS!" And I wasn't talking about my anger. That train had already passed.

"I was merely approaching you with a proposition. You're without work and soon without a home to go back to, yes?" He prattled nervously.

I quirked my brow slightly, still ready to introduce my fist to his face. "And if I was?"

"Then do I have news for you-"

'Drop the salesman act or I'll shove my fist down your throat." I snarl.

"-sooo, I have got just the solution for your, err, problem. Something that'd let you be yourself while truly having a chance to enjoy life to it's fullest without having to worry about such things. I'm offering a life of adventure and whimsy!"

I narrowed my eyes, weighing my options. I could just punch him and leave. _Or_ , I could humor him and hear him out. "... Thirty seconds."

"Eh?"

"Twenty nine."

"OH! Well, have you ever heard of One Piece?"

"Yes, to an extent. What of it? Twenty four."

"Well, how'd you like to life a more exciting life in the vast seas?"

I stared at him, glare unchanging.

"... Nineteen."

He sputtered and fumbled with something inside his cloak. "Ah, erm... eeh, AH! Okay, I know it sounds impossible and all, but I'm quite serious. Here, I even got some proof. Ta-daa!"

Then his hand shot out from under his cloak. Standing in a dramatic pose, he held a big-ass fruit. A deep blue fruit with white swirls on its surface. My eyebrow rose, just a bit. I had an idea what that could've been. I shot him a doubtful look.

"Ten..."

"Argh, come on! You're busting my balls here." The creep whined.

"Do you honestly, and I mean honestly, think I'm going to fall for something so outlandish?" I asked in a neutral tone.

"This is a real Devil Fruit, I assure you. And if you agree to my proposition, it could be yours as an... err... initiation gift?"

"Ignoring that it would require me to believe you, why the hell should I? I like swimming, thank you very much, and some random-ass power isn't going to make up for that."

"Well, yes, but-"

"Three..."

"Look, this one is special, alright! And real. It'll allow you to swim."

I growled and snatched the supposed Devil Fruit from his hand, fully ready to smash it. "And zero, your thirty seconds are up. You honestly expect me to buy this load of bull? Much less believe anything out of your mouth, Mr. Stranger?"

"I swear on my name that I don't lie." He said quickly. My glare intensified.

"And what name would that be?"

"... Stranger?"

"DO YOU WANT TO GET BEAT UP?!" I screamed at his face, a hair away from splitting his skull open like a casket full of loot.

"Well, I wouldn't worry about that now, since you accepted and all."

... What?

"Wait, wha-"

I blacked out.

* * *

When I woke up it felt like only moments had passed and I had a killer hangover. Only I didn't, but try telling my senses that. I groaned loudly and opened my eyes.

First thought: _'Man, what the fuck was that?'_

Second thought: "GOD FUCKLIGHTS!"

Only, the latter was actually said out loud as straight up sunlight violated my aching retinas. That shit was painful, though I doubt it actually hurt as bad as me screaming bloody murder would have indicated.

Covering my eyes and cradling my head with a rave going on inside, my thoughts went back to the creep in the alley and got a bad vibe. I managed to creak one eye open and look around through my fingers.

I was in the middle of a god damn tropical forest.

The fuck? Did that bitch knock me out and ditch my ass somewhere? What the hell?! Or was he actually serious about all that nonsense? The fuck?

I groaned as I let the rave in my brainbox die down and my eyes adjusted. The first thing I did was make sure I wasn't missing anything essential. Like a liver.

My clothes were still on, thank God. Baggy grey camo cargo pants, a black belt and a gray tank top. On my feet were my secured sandals with no socks. Feeling more than a bit paranoid, I pulled the neckline of the tank top down just a tad.

...

Yup, still got that sports bra on, covering all that insultingly flat chest-area. While I was at it I also took the liberty of finding my panties where they should be. A girl can't be too careful.

I seemed without any sort of injury, or at least anything notable. I looked around and saw my backpack by my side. And there, lying beside it, was that God damn fruit next to a God damn note. Not able to resist the morbid curiosity, I took the note and read.

 _Dear Mr, err, Ms. Grandwhite,_

 _By taking the Devil Fruit you have agreed to my little proposition. I hope you make use of it, or you might find things a load harder for yourself. This is quite the unnatural world, after all, filled with some unnatural individuals. Enjoy your vacation!_

 _Sincerely with L-O-V-E~,_

 _Stranger_

You bet your ass I tore that thing to pieces in record time.

"THAT FUCKER!" God damnit! He actually meant every word? How in the name of Seven Hells is this supposed to make sense! I want to wring his neck to the width of a fucking wire and then snap it in two!

In my rage I kick a nearby tree. As if to spite me further, a falling coconut clonks me on the head.

As I nursed the bump on my head, I tried to calm down. Anger wouldn't help me right now. I slung my backpack on securely – noting it seemed to contain stuff, I'll check later – and also took the fruit onto my hand and _stared_ at it. Malevolently.

This. Fruit. This so-called Devil Fruit – or should I call it just a Devil Fruit? - is almost solely responsible for this. A part of me just wants to smash it out of spite.

But then I think. If he really wasn't lying and I am where I think I am, then this thing could prove to be extremely essential. If he wasn't lying, this thing might actually be special and able to avoid the whole "drown-in-the-sea-like-a-weak-scrub"-problem.

I weighed my options for a moment longer. But seeing no good reason to act on my spite, or any reason to believe that Mr. Stranger was lying, I came to a conclusion. I took a bite out of the fruit.

And by GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WITH THAT TASTE?! It's like a bundle of moldy, sweat-soaked, dusty, old grandma's foot fungus socks! I almost gag and hurl then and there, but swallow the borderline vile thing out of sheer stubbornness.

 _Then_ I threw the rest of it away and begun to hack my lungs out.

"HACK – FUCK. They weren't – HACK, HACK – kidding about the taste!" I yelled to absolutely no one, save the very universe.

Then I froze. It came to me I had no idea what this thing did. It could be something really stupid or really useless. It's always random chance with these stupid magic fruit! Fuck my impulsiveness!

Oh well, I'd figure it out. Once I figured out what it _did_ in the first place. For the love of god, at least be something cool!

I got on my feet and tried to ignore the vile aftertaste swirling in my mouth and got moving. That guy did say that this one would allow me to swim. I was ready to put that to the test.

After all, Megalon Grandwhite – weird name for a girl, yes, but _damn_ if it isn't cool – is not a scared little sissy-girl!

* * *

I hacked and heaved as I expelled water from my lungs. I'd lost all my strength after getting knee deep into the water and then tripping over. Luckily I washed ashore fairly quickly, but not before swallowing some sea water.

It felt miserable.

"YOU LIED TO ME, YOU CREEP-FUCKER!" I screamed heavenwards, shaking my fists in unbridled fury.

 **Prologue**

 _ **Fin~**_

 **Next Episode** : A Timely Arrival! Big Trouble in Little Baratie!

* * *

 **A/N: Well, this got to be a thing.**

 **Welcome to the Shark of the Land, a stupid little SI OC fic that dancingly descended into my mind one day and refused to leave. It's a small project I hope to sink some of my abundant time in, so let's see if this goes anywhere. So please, follow along on the story of a very angry girl. Word of warning, there will be a time-skip next chapter.  
**

 **I want to believe Megalon's parents were hardcore marine biologists with a boner for ancient, long-dead sea creatures. And possessed astounding naming skills.**

 **Oh, an no one gets any guesses as to what that Devil Fruit does to our oddly named heroine.**

 _ **~Till Next Episode~!**_


	2. Episode 1

**Episode 1: A Timely Arrival! Big Trouble in Little Baratie!**

* * *

 **[Third Person]**

A lone cook was enjoying his break with a quick smoke outside the floating restaurant ship Baratie. The calm reverie was a welcome break from the absolute chaos that was the kitchens during business hours.

He simply enjoyed the calm breeze while taking comfort in the smoke filling his lungs.

Then the sea in front of him exploded, a large geyser of water exploding upwards nearby. The cook's eyes shot wide open at the sudden splash of water that soon came down, trying to find what just did that. It was almost like... something lauched out of the sea. The man could've sworn he saw something large, but he couldn't be sure. It happened so fast.

He was broken out of his shock when something fell down and slammed onto the outer platform of the restaurant with enough force to physically rock the entire ship. The cook stumbled as the ship soon stabilized. He blinked in disbelief.

Someone groaned quite loudly from the lower deck, causing the cook to glance over the second story railing.

Lying flat on their face was an honest to God person. Baggy oddly patterned pants, a grey tank top, sandals and bandages tied around the knuckles and forearms. The person had the most vibrant shoulder-length red hair that the cook had ever seen. They were also completely soaked.

Their groaning sounded miserable.

"Uuuurrgh..." The person slowly pushed themselves up shakily. The cook noted that the person looked kind of young.

"Hey, you okay there, kid?" The cook asked, concerned. What he got as an answer was a bone chillingly furious glare from cold, pale blue eyes.

"The fuck you calling a kid?" The person snarled and winced. They held their stomach as it rumbled ferociously. "Uuuggh..."

"H-hey, you sound hungry!"

"You ability to state the obvious is fantastic!" The person yelled, flashing the cook a toothy snarl. The cook froze in shock and fright.

With a scoff, the person entered the Baratie. The cigarette fell out of the cooks mouth. What a waste.

* * *

 **[1st Person, Megalon]**

Fuck. Everything. I am too pissed off for this shit. My everything aches and I'm hungry enough to resort to cannibalism if I don't get some decent food asap. It only took me THREE FUCKING WEEKS to find and reach this place! How fucking hard is it to find a fish-shaped restaurant in East Blue of all places!? Pretty fucking hard, it seems! I think I deserved to be a bit pissed.

That being said, kicking the door in might not have been the best course of action, because immediately every single eye was on me.

There I stood, glaring everything and soaked to the bone. I didn't have it in me to care about the attention as I trudged in weakly and scanned the place for free tables.

"Hey! What the hell do you think you're doing to the door?" A loud voice yelled at me as I got grabbed by the arm. I slowly turned to look at the dimwit who dared to approach me. Surprisingly, I knew who it was.

It was Patty, a cook of the Baratie, and a right rude bastard with a face only a mother could love. Or, you know, drop it and make it that much worse.

"It was in the way," I snarled in a tone that clearly conveyed I was not in the mood for any shit.

"THAT'S NO EXCUSE!" Patty screamed in my face.

"Shut your face," I grunt tiredly. "I'll pay for it. Just really want to eat something with actual flavor, so kindly let go before I get _upset_."

"Oh," Patty sneered sceptically. "With what money?"

I reached into my packpack and pulled out a big sack of gold coins. I jingled it as proof.

The bastard was still sceptical. "And where'd you get that?"

I looked to the side briefly as I felt a flashback approaching.

* * *

(10 days ago)

" _H-hey! We've got an intruder! Every man on deck-AAAH!" A marine soldier screamed as I bashed my fist into his face, instantly knocking him out._

 _Happening upon the marine ship was a godsend and I quickly boarded without permission. But_ somebody _just had to make things difficult! So I was left with no other option than to beat the shit out of everyone and steal all their money and quickly snack on some of their food._

 _I made my escape quickly, blessing my luck that everyone on that boat was pretty weak and/or really stupid. That could have ended very badly and I'm pretty sure I just made myself a criminal._

 _Joy._

* * *

"... Generous and just individuals." I answered lamely. "Now do you accept money in this establishment, or do I need to bring this up with the management?" As if to reinforce my point my stomach let out a truly miserable growl that echoed through the entire dinner hall.

Patty sneered at me, but let go of my hand. "Go take a table. And behave!"

Ignoring the fact that he just barked orders at me, I trudged to the first empty table I could find, sat my ass down, slumped onto the back of the seat and waited while ignoring the burning pit of discomfort and misery that was my stomach.

I will never eat fish again if I can help it. One can only take so much before the spite sets in.

"Hey, you're pretty wet." Someone states the obvious really close to my table and I glare at them immediately.

"An astute observation..." I trailed off, realizing who the dimwit addressing me was. And the term dimwit was freakishly accurate. The straw hat on his head was a big giveaway. I'd forgotten he was in indentured servitude here for a bit. Well, at least I now knew where I was, timeline wise.

Monkey D. Luffy grinned at me in that whimsically carefree way he was known to do. "How'd you get so wet?"

I blinked. How should I play this out? I knew who this was, and some of what he would do, though I only knew stuff up until Whiskey Peak. I hadn't been that into the whole series, mainly watching it for kicks until I got bored. I didn't know much, but I knew enough.

I suppose I could play this by the gut.

"I swam." I stated tiredly.

"Really?" Luffy asked.

"A lot. All the way here." I drawled, flashing a tired grin. "Was a pain in the ass and now I'm tired and hungry as hell." My stomach growled infernally to prove it.

Luffy's eyes opened wide in wonder and shock. "Woah! Your teeth!"

"Hnn?" I hummed, trailing my tongue softly over my teeth.

* * *

(4 weeks ago, deserted island)

" _Auuugh, fuccccking heeell, whyyy?!" I screamed at the trees of the island. Words couldn't coherently describe the pain my mouth was experiencing. It all happened very suddenly with only a light stinging sensation in my mouth. Then one of my teeth just fell out and the hurt really began to settle in._

 _It was like getting a scalpel jammed straight to the gums, and fuck did it smart like a bitch! If I was any less tough I'd probably be bawling my eyes out because this was true agony. Continuous and something you couldn't do anything about._

 _More and more teeth continued to fall out of my mouth as the pain continued. And it sure took its sweet time. It felt like hours - hell maybe it was - until the pain finally started to shift from unimaginable torment to severe annoyance. My jaws ached like crazy and felt... off. Different._

 _I traced my mouth with my tongue, only to wince as it was pricked by something. I prodded my mouth with a finger, only to be met by a tooth. A tooth with a very sharp edge._

 _I blamed that damn fruit. Fuck that thing! I never want to grow brand new dentures ever again! Fuck this shit!_

 _I spent the next three hours inventing new curse words and making any hypothetical/imaginary sailor blush. I swear one of the flowers near me wilted from my tirade._

 _Pussy._

* * *

A brief shudder passed through my system at the _pleasant_ memory.

"How'd you get teeth like that?" Luffy asked, fascinated.

"Practice," I snarked.

"Seriously?!" Luffy, being the dumb idiot he was, took it seriously.

"Of course fucking not! Are you daft?" I snarled weakly. "I grew them, and it wasn't pleasant."

"Can you teach me?" He asked obliviously.

"IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN LEARN, DIPSHIT!" I yelled at him. It wasn't really anger, just annoyance. He didn't give much of a reaction. The fool just grinned and laughed.

"Shishishi, you're really something! Swimming all the way here, and you got super cool teeth too. You seem pretty tough." My ego soaked that in like a needy sponge. Much appreciated. "Hey, wanna join my crew?"

"... Eh?" I vocalized dumly. I... didn't expect that, though all things considered I probably should have. Luffy was sporadic like that.

"I'm Luffy. Join my crew." The doofus goes on, never dropping that big smile from his face.

"I... Megalon. I'm Megalon Grandwhite." I introduced myself, feeling it was only fair. That, and my mind was drawing a blank. "What crew, exactly?"

"I'm a pirate. Join my crew." Luffy stated again, like it was already decided. I sweatdropped. "Though, I'm trying to get a cook to join right now. Can you cook?"

"..."

* * *

(6 years ago, Earth, Apartment Complex 4)

 _The kitchen was burning._

* * *

"... Nooooo." I drawled slowly. Making toast had never gone so wrong in the history of toast. Sometimes I wonder how I've survived this long with only takeout. I shook my head to rid myself of the memory.

"Well, I did sort of attack a marine ship on my way here and robbed them... guess that makes me a pirate. Sort of." I mumbled to myself.

I wasn't ashamed. It wasn't my fault they didn't let me talk it out. I was pissed and my hand was forced, damnit! I was justified!

"So you'll join!" Luffy exclaimed.

"I DIDN'T SAY THAT!" I screamed at his face. It bummed me out that he didn't react that much to it. I took a deep, exasperated breath. "Okay, listen. How about you ask me again after you got that cook of yours. Then we'll talk."

 _Please let this go, please let this go, please let this go-_

Luffy opened his mouth to say something, but suddenly his head was driven to the floor by an impressive kick. I blinked. Guess that's one way to avoid a conversation.

"Stop bothering the customers!" A blond haired man wearing a nice suit yelled at the rubber-man eating the floorboards. He turned to me. I knew who this was. Wow, the curly eyebrow is really eye catching. "Sorry about the idiot. Was he bothering you, sir?"

"I wouldn't say he was a bother. More like a welcome distraction." I stated tiredly. Then my brain locked onto what he said.

In a flash I stood up and grabbed him by his collar, going nose to nose with him. I wore my most furious and murderous glare and snarled in a way that showed my recently new set of dangerous dentures.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME?! I'M A GIRL! G-I-R-L, YOU HEAR ME? WANNA DIE?!" I screamed at his face with the rage of an erupting volcano and shook him some. I was stopped when a particularly bad growl escaped my stomach and I slumped back onto my seat, folding like a house of cards. All my energy left me.

The man, Sanji, blinked at me wide-eyed. Then he looked borderline horrified. Then he bowed very deeply. "I am deeply sorry for my mistake! My deepest apologies, ma'am!"

"Don't call me ma'am! I'm not fucking old."I growled weakly. Another growl escaped my gut and I let out a miserable whine. God being hungry sucks.

His look of horror shifts into one of worry. "Are you okay, miss?"

"That's more like it." I say with a wince. "Really could use some real food right now. Haven't eaten properly in weeks. All out of energy."

Sanji stood straight as a needle and put on his gentleman face. "I cannot ignore when a lady is pained by hunger! What can I do to serve, miss...?"

"Megalon," I state frankly. "and I'd really appreciate meat, the biggest serving possible. I could eat a sea cow whole right about now. I can pay." I placed the sack of gold onto the table. "Take all of it for all I care, just get me something with a lot of calories."

"Your wish is my command, Mega-chan!" Sanji swooned and turned to leave, but I grabbed him by the arm strongly. "Yes-"

"If there is even so much as a trace amount of fish in my food, I will sink this damn boat and everyone in it." I growl darkly. I have had enough fucking fish to last me a lifetime. I didn't even mind that ridiculous pet-name Sanji used. My mind was that focused on needing sustenance.

"Of course!" Sanji swoons chipperly and I let him go. As I start to wait, I noticed a distinct lack of Luffy anywhere. Guess I'm safe for now. Yay.

Another painful growl.

God, this food better be damn good.

* * *

The food was damn good.

No, I take it back. After so long with only what I could get hold off, mostly FUCKING FISH, this food was not damn good. It was God damn divine! You bet I scarfed all that down like my life depended on it, and already I could feel some of my strength returning and my energy levels stabilizing as more empty plates got stacked on top of each other.

I'm a big eater, apparently. Then again, this is the first proper meal I've enjoyed in a long time, so no one can blame me. Well, do so and live, anyway.

I only took a break to punch Luffy upside the head for trying to nab some of my food. Again. For the fourth time. A side-effect of my replenishing energy levels meant I could be properly angry again. And the straw hat wearing idiot was the target of my ire.

"Stop trying to nick my food!" I scream at the hellion.

"Why?" Luffy asks, the oblivious idiot.

"Because I've been basically starving for weeks now and this is mine! You want it, you're gonna have to pry it from my cold, dead hands!" I yell at him and place myself between him and _my_ food. "If your damn hand so much as grazes my meal, I'll bite your damn hand off! Then, if you're still hungry, I'll feed it to you!"

"I don't see why you're so mad." Luffy said, not a care in the world, munching on one of my steakes.

"YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH OR SOMETHING, PAL?!" I screech at him, fully ready to implant my teeth into his hands to fulfill my promise.

"Shishishi! You're funny, Malago." Luffy laughs at the face of terror.

"IT'S MEGALO!" I yell. The whole restaurant is more or less staring at us right now, but I couldn't give a lesser fuck about them. I had to force myself to ignore Luffy and return to the heavenly food that beckoned me.

Apparently peace was too much to ask for.

"How's the food, Mega-chan!" I bristle at the nickname and shoot a glare at Sanji.

"It's delicious, but then again, anything is after what I've eaten lately." I say. "I'd really like to just be left alone to enjoy the small joys of life."

I pause, an evil thought whispering to me.

"That, and Straw Hat Boy there keeps trying to steal my food."

I grinned maliciously as Sanji delivered a good kick to Luffy's noggin' and dragged him off because he was lollygaggin' and not working like he was supposed to. With a chuckle I focused on my food once more.

"Hey, there's a ship outside!" One of the customers shouts.

 _'MOTHER FUCKER!'_ Seriously?! _That_ is happening now? Talk about shit timing.

I glance out and what do you know? The absolutely shit-wrecked ship of the Krieg Pirates is nearby. Guess that means the main man himself is coming here pretty soon.

I am in no mood for this shit. I just start eating and try to stay out of any and all proceedings. I shut the whole world out and just ate. I was going to enjoy this fragment of heaven for as long as I could, damnit!

I must've zoned out while eating, because when I came back Sanji just crashed through my table, all the food ending up on the floor. I was absolutely frozen for a moment before very slowly turning towards the guy who did that.

The moment my eyes set on Don Krieg, acting like his arrogant pompous self, I saw nothing but red. I snapped. Fuck restraint!

Just when Krieg was proclaiming how this ship would be his, I grabbed the knocked over table with both hands. I focused all my strength to lifting the damn thing up and the throwing it at the prick! I must've caught him by surprise because the table crashed right into him and knocked him over.

"Hey, cocksucker!" I scream at him while literally everyone looks at me in fearful disbelief. I began to stomp towards him with a murderous look in my eyes.

Krieg stood up straight, to his credit seeming very much unaffected from getting hit in the face with a table. He glared right back at me, but mine was better than his. "Do you have a death wish, boy? Don't you know who I am?"

I reach him and fearlessly grab him by the collar, pulling him down to my level with a strong jerk. "First of, dickweed, I'm a girl. Secondly, I don't give a rat's ass who you are. You could be the fucking Goddess of the Ocean for all I care and I'd still call you Cocksucker McGee!"

Everyone is staring at me like I had lost my mind. Gin, Krieg's underling and second-in-command, stared at me in shock. Krieg was glaring at me with fury only I could match on a bad day. Needless to say I was unimpressed.

"You'll regret those words-" Krieg snarled but I didn't let him finish before cutting him off by basically headbutting him.

"NO! You'll regret throwing that blond bastard into _my_ table! You'll regret making all of _MY_ food start an intimate relationship with the floor! Listen to me you dickless clown! I've had nothing else to eat for FOUR WEEKS but near tasteless raw fish! This is _my_ first warm meal in a long ass time and I was pretty fucking happy about that."

My glare intensifies as I look straight into the eyes, right into that rotten thing this man calls a soul.

"So you listen to me when I say that I'm pretty fucking angry right now. I'd love nothing more than beating the shit out of you, gouging your eyes out and ripping off your dick so I can help you go FUCK YOURSELF!"

I got extremely heated by the end and, to my great joy and satisfaction, Krieg seemed just slightly unnerved by my rage. Just slightly, but I took what I could. Our noses were pretty much touching, that's how strong my glare game was.

"So now I ask, am I going to need any more of a reason to rape your face with my fist? I'd start with your crotch, but I don't want to be so bold as to assume you're a man." I snarl venomously. The shocked silence that follows was a thing of beauty.

A little less so when it was broken by an absolutely furious Krieg punching me in the face, flinging me straight to the other end of the room. I hit my back on the wall with enough force to crack the wood and slumped onto the floor. God damn, that asshole was stronger than I expected.

Before that punch would have been enough to knock me out cold in an instant. Now I got away with just an aching back and a bruised cheek. Thank you Devil Fruit powers, for once!

"You DARE insult me, Don Krieg?!" Krieg roared, absolutely boiling over with anger. "A weakling like you has no place to address me so brazenly! I should kill you where you stand! Learn you place!"

"Mega-chan..." Sanji speaks up quietly from where my table used to be. His look of worry transforms into one of anger. Anger addressed solely at Don Krieg. "How dare you hit a lady?!"

Krieg scoffs with a dismissing sneer. "Man. Woman. It doesn't matter. Any weakling standing in my way pays the price for their foolishness. Now as I was saying. I need food for the rest of my crew, as well as this ship! That's an order!"

Fucking hell, he is still on about that. How fucking annoying. Sanji is about to give into his demands for food, just like in canon, but I just refuse to keep my mouth shut.

"You just love the sound of your own voice." I speak up clearly and finally stand up, having had enough of playing dead, patting dust off my clothes. To everyone I looked relatively unharmed from the punch, with only the bruise on my cheek as any visual indication. I glare at Krieg with all my contempt for the man I could muster. "I guess I don't need any more incentive to kick your teeth in. Right?"

Krieg just sneers at me like I'm a bottom feeder in his presence. The fuck is it with this guys ego? "Seems once was not enough for you."

I growl and take a step towards him.

"NO FIGHTING IN MY RESTAURANT!" A commanding voice booms across the restaurant. I stop. It was the owner of Baratie, Zeff, holding a big bag by his side. He spoke to Krieg. "This should be enough for one hundred men."

As much as I wanted to step in and batter that fucker Krieg's face in, I restrained myself. I let things play out like they did in canon for now. Krieg took his damn food, made it a point to tell everyone that this ship would belong to him and left to prepare for his assault.

Before leaving he shot me a glare. "I'll kill you myself, girl."

I couldn't help but grin murderously, showcasing my sharp teeth and reply with matching condescension. "You're welcome to try, worm."

With one final sneer Krieg took up and left. Good riddance.

I crack my neck to relieve some tension and anger from my system. The rest I push back and reserve for later.

"Mega-chan, are you okay? Are you hurt?" Sanji asks me in the type of doting concern that I hate.

"I'm fine. Super pissed off, but fine. It's just a fucking bruise." I answer curtly. The next thing I know, Luffy is slapping me on the back.

"Hey, you were pretty cool and tough just now." He says with a wide grin.

… God damnit, did I just impress Luffy? Fuck, now he is definitely wanting to draft me into his crew. Fuck!

"You really should join my crew, Lamago."

And there it is- wait a minute?!

"IT'S MEGALON! Get that through your skull!" I scream at him, happy to relieve some stress. "If you want me on your fucking boat, then at least learn my name, dumbass!"

"Excuse me." An older voice speaks to my left. I turn at them, still heated.

"WHAT?!"

I got a peg leg to the side of the head, and it hurt like a mother fucker. Definitely more so than Krieg's punch did. I was lying on the floor again, clutching the side of my head.

"GAH! THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU!?" I screamed at Zeff, the old prick.

"That was for destroying a table and nearly starting a fight inside my restaurant." The geezer scolds – fucking scolds – me, like I was some toddler who just broke a window. "The cost of the damages will come out of your pocket."

"I..." I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Really shouldn't get mad because of this. I waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah, sure. Fine. Take all of it for all I care. I already ate enough anyway."

I still sent a glare to the old man's way. "Did you really have to use the fucking wooden one?"

"I thought it'd get the message through your head better." He said and just walked away.

… Well played, old man. Well played. I'll accept this, for now.

With a huff I stand up and look at Luffy. "Hey, Straw Hat Boy."

"Yeah?"

"You seem strong, stronger than you look, at least. Wanna beat that guy up?" I ask seriously.

"Yeah." Was his simple answer.

"Great! However," I grin slightly. "I want a go at him first. That fine with you?"

"Yeah."

"You certain? Not afraid I'll steal your thunder?"

"Don't care."

Luffy, sometimes talking to you can be so simple. My lips twitch into an evil smile and I do something I haven't done in a while.

I laugh.

"It's a deal then, Luffy."

 **Chapter 1**

 _ **Fin~**_

 **Next Episode** : Anger vs Anger! Megalon's Power, Unleashed!

* * *

 **A/N: Well, this got done faster than I thought it would. Sorry about any misspellings and grammar mistakes. My English is amazing, but nobody is perfect. That and the spellcheck sucks. Gems don't need to be perfectly cut to be pretty to look at, as I say. Enjoy!**

 **So, Megalon is showing how much of a spitfire she is in this chapter. Look at that confidence! That fire in her heart could melt glaciers, I tell you! Now if only she wasn't such a hard swearer... Nah, that'd be boring.**

 **Be sure to Review, so I know how I fucked up :D**

 ** _~Till Next Episode!~_**


	3. Episode 2

**Episode 2: Anger Vs. Anger! Megalon's Power, Unleashed!**

* * *

I was shaking in my sandals.

Anyone who'd even think of the notion that I was afraid or nervous would get a kick straight to the face. No, I was not afraid. I was not nervous. I was no anxious.

I was shaking with anticipation and pent up rage. I was shaking for the opportunity to utterly destroy Don Krieg, the arrogant, honourless scumbag. I'd eaten my fill. I had my energy back. And most of all, I was still extremely angry.

Luffy seemed okay with the idea of me knocking that guy to oblivion, so he likely wouldn't mind if I desecrated canon and took his fight for myself. I probably shouldn't, but God damnit, I was not letting that bitch off the hook! My murder boner was positively throbbing. I _needed_ this!

But I knew I couldn't just do it. Not yet. I needed to wait and let some events play out. And so I did.

Drakule Mihawk, the badass known as the Strongest Swordsman in the World and one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea, showed up and sliced the hell out of Krieg's warship. It made me smile with malevolent glee when he later humiliated Krieg by flat out saying he didn't even register as a threat.

All in all, I liked this man. He is most certainly a candidate for future enemy, but I like him.

Then Zoro challenged Mihawk to a duel and lost. Spectacularly so, but still managed to come out with some serious badass cred. Getting voluntarily slashed across the chest by the Strongest Swordsman wielding the Strongest Sword took some grade A balls.

Zoro had his moment, vowing to never lose again, and soon enough his ass got dragged off by Usopp, Yosaku and Johnny to chase after the fleeing Nami who stole the Going Merry, leaving the duty of cleaning up the Krieg Posse to Luffy, Sanji and I. Oh, and the Baratie cooks, but they are barely above redshirts.

And then that cocky shit Pearl showed up with his bravado and ridiculous iron shields, beating the shit out of Patty and Carne. And this is where I was starting to lose my patience.

I decided it was about time I start warming up.

"Oi, Blond Cook?" I called out to Sanji.

"Yes,, Mega-chan~?" Sanji swoons, which I ignore as I set my sights on Krieg, standing among the parts of his ruined ship.

"Think you can take that shield clown?" I ask.

Sanji gets serious and drops the swooning, thank god. "This small fry? No problem."

"Great! Guess it's time I start my fight then." I crack my neck and my knuckles. I had wrapped some boxing tape around the already existing bandages to cover my knuckles and arms in preparation. "Oh, and Sraw Hat Boy."

"Yeah?" Luffy asks.

I send a toothy grin his way. A predator's grin. "See if you can make sure these morons don't try anything stupid."

He stared at me before flashing a grin of his own. "Sure. Kick his ass."

"That's the plan."

I took a step to the side of the extended fins of the Baratie and lock eyes with Krieg.

"Hey, cocksucker!" I yell and point a finger at him, standing there in his stupid golden battle armor. "I'm coming for you, so you better be ready and not fold like a little bitch!"

That made him sneer in anger. I relished on that. To me his anger was one thing that brought me satisfaction. This was going to be a fight between two angry people.

And I was going to enjoy every fucking moment of it.

"Not if I can help it!" Pearl shouted, appearing next to me, shield poised to strike. I gave him a cool, not concerned look. " **Pearl** **Surprise**!"

What would likely have been a somewhat painful strike to the my face got blocked and diverted by Sanji's foot. T _hank you, Sanji's foot!_

"It's rude to target ladies!" Sanji roared. "I'm your opponent."

I flash him a grin in appreciation. I leave those to their fight and jump across the piece of debris that could hold me, homing in on Krieg's location. The fight was on!

I rushed towards him at speeds I wouldn't have been capable off in the past and in moments I was before him. If he was surprised by my speed, he didn't show it, the prick. I grinned widely and braced my leg for the first strike.

" **Feral Heel**!" I shout as I ram my heel towards his head, the unprotected part of his body. I could've targeted lower, but I want to enjoy this as long a possible so I'll play by the unwritten rules. He cranes his neck to the side to let my heel pass his head, sneering at me, but that was exactly what I wanted.

I hooked his neck with the inside of my leg and with a slight twist of my body grab his head between my thighs. Using my momentum I use all my force to get his body off the ground. I reached my hands to the wooden surface and twist my body to throw his heavy ass as high into the air as I can. I can see the delicious surprise on his face. Bet he didn't see that coming.

Quickly realigning my body with the ground, I launch myself to meet him partway as he's falling and hooking my arm so that his neck aligns with my bicep. My grin widens in glee.

" **Feral Sky Lariat**!" I yelled out loud as my tensed bicep collided with his neck, the counter force sending him spinning towards the platform below. Unfortunately he managed to control his landing and not crash like I had hoped, or better yet, fall into the sea and drown in that heavy armor of his. I continued on and landed in a crouch on a nearby platform, facing him.

Krieg snarls angrily and spits out some blood. The sight makes me shiver in satisfaction. "Tch. You're a bit tougher than I expected, girl. But if that is all you've got you won't stand a chance."

 _Oooh_ , I just love how condescending he sounds when he calls me 'girl'. Titillating. My grin grows a bit more feral in appearance.

"Oh, sorry. I was just warming up." I stated it like the fact that it was. "Trust me, when I get serious you'll rue the day you came to this place and drew my fury. You'll regret the life choices you've made in your entire life. You'll-"

Probably shouldn't have attempted to monologue as Krieg got a total sucker punch in while I was distracted, sending my ass flying back towards the Baratie. My head clonked pretty hard on something before I could realign myself and land in a crouch. God was I glad my head was made so tough.

"LET ME FINISH MY MONOLOGUE, MOTHER FUCKER!" I yell at Krieg, the cheating bitch. Also, it seemed like it was me instead of Luffy who managed to make Pearl's nose bleed.

Fuck.

"You doing alright?" Sanji asks a bit to my left. "Some hit you landed on that gold-plated bastard. Self-trained?"

"Absolutely, to both questions." I exclaim proudly as I stand up straight, stretching my neck. "Fucker doesn't know when to let a girl monologue in peace. Knows I got him on the ropes. Bitch."

"That was real cool, Mogeon!" Luffy piped up from nearby.

"IT'S MEGALON, MORON!" I snap at him.

"... Blood..." I snap my attention back to Pearl. Looks like he is about to go all ape-shit because of a fucking bo-boo. "My blood..."

"Oh no..." I can hear Krieg complain in quiet annoyance as he realizes what's gonna happen.

"Pearl, calm down! It's just a broken nose! You're not actually hurt!" One of the Krieg pirates tries to sooth the oncoming storm. And is a massive liar.

And then it happens.

"Bodily harm! Bodily harm! Bodily harm!" Pear screams in panic and slams his shields together, _somehow_ catching all his shields on fire. And not _just_ any fire. _White_ fire. The fuck is up with that?!

"Oh. That might be a problem." I state dully. I certainly didn't want to get burned. Fire didn't bother me by itself, it was the element of anger and rage after all, so we were in some understanding. But it still hurt like a bitch, so fuck that.

"Is he insane?" Sanji says.

"No one sane would light themselves on fire, so yes." I say bluntly as I get into a fighting stance, arms held up in front of my chest, ready to strike. "This might get annoying."

"What a baby." Luffy pipes in, picking his nose.

" **FIRE PEARL! SPECIAL TREAT!** " Pearl screams out and suddenly fire spread around the area in the form of small flaming pearls. Honestly, I forgot he did that.

Sanji, Luffy and I manage to jump out of the way and dodge, but some of Krieg's own men get caught and lit on fire. Friendly fire. _Hilarious_. Unfortunately it also started setting the outer fin of the Baratie ablaze. That's bad.

"Hahaha," Pearl laughs, completely manic. "With these flames, my defense is indestructible!"

I'd like to argue that, but he is kind of dangerous to approach right now. Sanji has no such issue and just jumps into the flames surrounding the guy and kicks at him, even if his leg is caught by a flaming shield.

"A proper cook isn't be afraid of something as small as fire!" He says and proceeds to kick him down onto the ground. Then Pearl get's more scared and crazy and throws more flaming pearls at the Baratie itself, which Zeff takes out like a badass.

The old man wasn't "Red Leg" Zeff, a legend in his prime, for nothing. Luffy agreed with me on that.

Krieg took this moment to be a cheap bitch and threw a large spiked ball attached to a chain at Sanji while no one could come to his defense. He was so wrong. Luffy ran right through the flames and I followed right after.

" **Gum-Gum** -" He said and stretched his arms back

" **Feral** -" I said and prepped my leg.

" **Rocket**!/ **Heel**!" We landed our attacks simultaneously and sent the ball right back to Krieg.

"They... shot it back." Sanji said, dumbfounded by our awesome might. I was a bit preoccupied to care. So was Luffy.

"Hot! Hot! Hot!" Luffy yelled out as he tried to put out the fire on his back.

"GAAH! BITCH! FUCK!" I was doing pretty much the same, just more loudly and with more swearing.

The iron ball did it's job and hit the mast next to Krieg and broke it. As it came down, the three of us moved the fuck out the way and the thing landed on Pearl's head, knocking him out.

I was happy about that.

"What is he doing?" Sanji said, exasperated.

"This guy is stupid." Luffy said, all carefree.

"Idiot must've never heard of dodging." I added salt to the wound, ignoring the ginormous amount of hypocrisy in the previous statement. I look at Luffy. "So. Devil Fruit, huh?"

He grins, stretching his cheek. "Yup! I ate the Gum-Gum Fruit."

I let out chuckle. "Nice moves. Sorry for taking most of the action."

"Nah, it's cool. I'm just helping. This is your fight." He says. I grin.

"Damn right it is."

And then the plot moves on, like a spiteful ex-girlfriend.

Gin had used all the commotion and confusion to sneak by everyone and pointed a gun at Zeff's head.

Fuck. This was another part I'd have to let play out.

Gin tried to get Sanji and everyone to skip ship, basically forfeiting to Krieg. Unsurprisingly, Sanji would have none of that. Sanji got all selfless and asked Gin to point the gun at him instead. Luffy thought it was stupid and I stayed quiet. I had to restrain myself because the moment I spoke I'd lose my already fickle control.

Pearl got over being smacked on the head by a god damn mast pretty damn quick and sent Sanji flying to the railing of the Baratie with a strike from his shield.

"SANJI!" Luffy screams to him. "Why didn't you dodge?"

"If I did that, he'd pull the trigger!" Sanji said while sitting against the railing, looking pained.

This surprised Gin. "Why'd you do that? If you just abandon the restaurant everyone will be saved! It's that simple!"

"The restaurant is the old man's treasure." Sanji says, some stubborn regret in his eyes. "I'm the one who took everything from that old fart. His power. His dreams."

The guy must be talking of how Zeff saved his life by cutting off and eating his own leg just so Sanji could live. A very noble act, that I can recognize.

"And that's why..." Sanji stands up. "I don't want that old fart to lose anything, anymore!" While he is distracted Pearl sneaks in a cheap shot by crushing Sanji's head in between his shields with powerful strikes. My self-restrain almost slips, I want to beat this guy so bad.

Sanji fell to the ground, blood seeping out of his injuries. It was freaky seeing a guy eject blood from his ears. He looked like he'd been knocked out cold, maybe even killed. But I knew better. He clutched his hand into a fist.

"That old man... He gave up his leg so I could live." He said as he slowly got back up and stood proudly. "If I too don't put _my_ life on the line, I won't be able to repay the old fart!"

Sanji was being really selfless, willing to accept pain and even death to buy just a little bit more time. I can recognize and even admire that. But just like Luffy, I see the senselessness in such a sacrifice.

And just like Luffy, I am pissed off about it. So when Luffy shoots his leg high skyward, I merely subtly move to a more safe distance. I'd join in the effort, but the chance of ending up in the water doesn't allure me.

When the Gum Gum Axe hit the fin and completely destroyed it, it was a struggle to keep my footing, but I managed to stay on a pretty intact piece. On the plus side all the fire got taken out by all the splashing water from the impact. Small joys.

"That guy..." Krieg started gravely. "Is he planning on destroying the ship?"

The guy was mad.

"Gin! Blow his heads off!" Krieg ordered his Second. But Gin hesitated. "Hurry up!"

"But..." Gin spoke up "He is the man who gave us enough food for out men!"

"Gin, you bastard!" Krieg snarled in anger.

"Hey!" Luffy interjected, not facing Krieg. "I wasn't fighting back at you. I only destroyed the fin." He said it like it was common sense. Which it kind of was... freaky.

"You bastard Waiter Boy! What are you trying?" Sanji yelled at Luffy.

"Sink it." Luffy answered casually.

"What?" Sanji asked, outraged.

"I'm gonna sink the ship." Luffy repeated his intent, which only served to get Sanji more mad. He grabbed Luffy roughly by the collar.

"Bastard! I thought you were gonna say something else! Are you for real, you shit!?"

"But if I destroy the ship they won't get what they want." Luffy explained his logic, as scary as that sounded. Luffy. Using _logic_. Boggles the mind each time.

"And what do you know about this!? What do you know about my dept to this place?!" Sanji yelled at Luffy.

"So you're gonna die for it?" Luffy again said not at all phased by Sanji's threatening tone. "Are you stupid?"

"What did you say?" Sanji ask in anger. I had slowly been walking up to them and this is where I can't restrain myself anymore.

" **Feral Roundhouse**!" I roar and deliver a roundhouse kick to Sanji's face, sending his ass onto the ground. He grimaces from pain and looks up at me in anger. Luffy is looking at me with a blank stare. I can tell he is summing me up. I know he is.

"What's that for, Megalon?"

"Stuff your face!" I snap at him forcefully, my tone actually making him flinch. I snarl at him, not even trying to hide my outrage. "Paying back your dept? Dying to own up for your past? Are you a fucking moron or just that dense?"

"What are you-"

"Do you think that's what's expected of you, you dumb shit?!" I scream in his face, cutting off any arguments. "That's the exact opposite of what that old relic wants of you, you prick! He did all that so you could live and do something with your life! Not so you could throw it away because of some fucking guilt!"

I forcefully pulled him to his feet by his collar and glared him in the eye. "Dying right now would be like spitting on all that was done for you up until this point! Dying is the cowards way out and living is proof of all the sacrifices you've made, of all the things done for you to get you that far! You don't just throw that away for some stupid sentiment, asshole!"

Sanji's eyes were wide open, my words apparently making their way through that thick skull of his. I let go of him, letting him stand on his own as my glare softens, just a bit.

"If you truly want to own up to these surly cooks and that ancient relic, then you better fucking live." I state coolly in a way that doesn't leave much space for arguments. I could feel Luffy grinning ear to ear at me. I didn't need to see it.

"Oh, both of you. Stop arguing."

Oh. Shit, I forgot he was still here.

"Fighting amongst ourselves is just laughable." Pearl spoke to us in a calm voice, far from the panic he showed earlier. "But you can't do anything as long as we have a hostage in our hands."

The guy sounded so proud and smug about it too. Fuck his face!

"How unfortunate for you that you have to face us, the Don Krieg Pirates." Pearl says and then starts fucking laughing. A growl escapes my throat. I really hate smug assholes.

He clanks his shields together again, lighting the two on his hands on fire. "Now let my **Fire Pearl** burn you down!" He yells and charges us while laughing like mad.

Suddenly I feel myself pushed out of the way as Gin rushes past us and utterly annihilates Pearl's frontal shield like it was nothing with his weighted tonfas. It happened fast.

Pearl fell to the ground, unconscious. Gin stood there, his eyes shadowed and hidden from the world.

Don Krieg was not happy at all about that.

"Gin." He started dangerously. "Are you betraying me?"

"Forgive me, Don Krieg. But this person saved us." Gin spoke, his tone unreadable. "I don't want him to die like this. At least... At least let me finish him with my own hands."

He turned back to us, readying his tonfas. Krieg let it slip that Gin was his battle Commanding Officer, essentially a vice-captain. In pirate circles that translated roughly to "The guy who is the second strongest beside the captain". It was a serious bit of trivia.

Luffy made some odd groaning sound right next to me. "Look! Did you see how successful my 'decoy strategy of threat' was?"

"Stop lying!" Sanji snapped at the Straw Hat Boy. I merely grinned and let out a chuckle. "Do you really want to destroy the ship?"

"Sanji-san." Gin interrupted. "I wanted you out off this ship so I wouldn't have to hurt you. But that doesn't seem possible anymore."

"Yeah. I won't go." Sanji affirmed. "This restaurant. I won't give it to you even at the cost of my life."

"Then at least, let me kill you with my own hands. I can't make this right or wrong." Gin said evenly.

"Thank you." Sanji said, lighting a cigarette. Is now really the time? "Eat shit." I like his additions to basic manners. Still unnecessary.

"The same goes for you two, Straw-hat guy. Sharp-tooth girl." He addressed the two other people there.

"Not necessary." Luffy said without missing a beat. "Because I won't lose to a bunch of weaklings like you."

"THE FUCK YOU CALL ME, PUNK?!" I voiced my displeasure at the nickname. "I'LL BEAT YOU WEAK-ASS IDIOTS SO HARD YOUR PROSTATES COMES OUT OF YOUR EARS!"

Gin looked surprised at out choice of words and the rest of the Krieg Weaklings looked positively pained that their pride was so openly insulted. The small fries began voicing their displeasure of us mocking their commander. Loyalty? In the Krieg Pirates? _Ridiculous_.

"How dare you talk to our commander like that?!"

"You bastard!"

"We're the Don Krieg Pirates, the strongest in East Blue!"

I clicked my tongue and sneered. What blowhards.

"Don't you mean, the one with the most people?" Luffy said obliviously, again making sense. I need to keep reminding myself he isn't _all_ idiot. Not completely.

Every Krieg Pirate winced simultaneously at Luffy's truth bomb. It was amusing.

"Looks like you hit them where it hurts." Sanji noted.

"Yeah, definitely." Luffy replied instantly.

I chuckled evilly and smacked Luffy on the back, even when the rest of the Krieg Weaklings charged us in anger. "Way to go, Straw Hat Boy! Bring the pain!"

"Back off!" Krieg raises his voice and our pathetic lynch mob just stops dead on their tracks.

"Don Krieg? Why?" One of the Weaklings asks.

"When a guy gets flustered because someone calls him weak, it's proof that he recognizes that he IS weak." Krieg said, surprisingly calm and sat his ass down. "I'm still here. So don't make a fuss."

"A-Aye!" The Krieg Weaklings echo.

"Gin." Krieg addresses his Second. "You're responsible for killing that cook. That troublesome girl and the Hammer boy, leave them to me." Finally, recognition! I'll get to kick you ass soon, you Golden Prick!

"I understand, Don Krieg." Gin said, ready to attack.

"Hey, brats!" Krieg stared me and Luffy down. I granted him my attention. "I'll show you the power that conquered East Blue. I don't even care if you've eaten a Devil Fruit, boy. I don't even care that you got me with a lucky shot, girl. I'll show you that both your efforts are meaningless."

"You never shut up." Luffy says with eerie calm. "I'd want to kick your ass, but I promised someone else that they could do it."

I cackled and glared at Krieg with a borderline animalistic smile. "And that'd be me! You ready or do you need a minute to plan out your surrender?" I blatantly mock him. That got under his skin as he narrowed his eyes and snarled at me.

"You arrogant..."

While that was going on, Gin and Sanji had a stare down. Gin twirled his tonfa in a rapid fashion, showing his skill with the weapon. "I'm sorry, Sanji-san. You can't defeat me."

"We'll see, small fry." The blonde cook replied coolly.

Then Gin charged, but Sanji saw it coming and went for a kick. Gin saw it coming in retirn and stopped just out of reach. He slammed the weighted end of his tonfa at Sanji, who vaulted out of the way, sinking the weight into the wooden platform. He then pulled it out, sending wooden shrapnel everywhere.

The guy had monstrous strength behind all that finesse. Gin truly deserved his spot as the battle commander.

Sanji tried to kick at Gin while in the air but Gin just angled his body differently and avoided it, managing to pin Sanji to the ground with his tonfa handle on his throat. He landed next to him, cross-legged. _Classy_.

"Didn't I tell you. You can't defeat me." Gin said with a fearsome smile. "Farewell. Just disappear from this world."

He twirled his other tonfa, building up momentum and power for a finishing blow. Sanji did nothing until the weight was descending upon him, spitting his lit cigarette at Gin's eye. The momentary distraction was all Sanji needed to escape Gin's hold and kick him in the back of the head.

Were it anyone else the battle would've been over by this point. But Gin wasn't anyone else. Gin gained some second-wind and slammed the weight of his tonfa into Sanji's side, more than likely breaking some ribs. Both affected by each others strikes they both hit the floor, panting heavily.

I was so close. I could have interfered. But I didn't. I didn't want to. This was not my fight. It was not mine to interrupt, no matter how angry I was. This was Sanji's battle. It was personal.

Gin got up fairly quickly while Sanji remained down, managing to only get on his knees while nursing his side. Sanji was a wreck at this point and could barely stand. And yet he did shakily get onto his feet and had the nerve to taunt Gin.

I didn't care what I may think of Sanji, at that moment I respected his guts and resolve.

At this point in canon, Luffy would have tried to rush Krieg, like an idiot. But because he seemed adamant on keeping our little deal, he kept most of his attention on Sanji and Gin's fight. No matter. Krieg would receive my grace soon enough.

Gin struck Sanji, who was too weak and injured to properly defend himself anymore, putting him on the ground, coughing blood. And Gin was revving up for the final blow.

"Prepare to be finished!" He said. "I have played enough." And then he swung, and Sanji managed to vault away from it. _Somehow_.

"What is this? Mercy?" Sanji asked, sounding somewhat offended as he angled a kick to Gin's left shoulder blade. "Stop joking!"

Gin went down and just when it seemed like things were looking up, Sanji's injuries caught up to him and his body seized. He fell to his knees, clutching his stomach, forehead hitting the platform.

 _'Those hits to the ribs finally cashed in.'_ I thought. _'The force behind his own kick was too much strain for him in this state.'_

Gin forced himself up and Sanji was in no condition to do anything anymore. Gin grabbed Sanji by the throat and pushed him to the ground. It looked like game over.

Luffy and I stood on the sideline impassively, Luffy looking worried while I hid behind a calm mask. We knew not to get involved, both of us. The fighter in us knew what that would mean. Shaming a man's pride.

I didn't like it.

Then a few droplets shone in the light briefly, and I knew _that_ moment had come. Gin was crying.

"W-what the hell?" Gin _whimpered_ pitifully. "I... Don Krieg. I really..." He paused as his tears flowed freely. "I CAN'T KILL THIS MAN! DON KRIEG!"

"Gin..." Luffy spoke while I allowed myself to smile, just a little bit.

"I really... I really can't kill him." Gin sobbed, unable to reign in his tears.

Krieg was, to put it mildly, furious.

"What did you say?!" He roared from his seat away from us, looking ready to pop a blood vessel.

"Because... Because I am... For the first time..." Gin spoke shakily, battling with his own emotions. "This is the first time anyone has been kind to me. That's why, I can't kill this man."

No one could find words for the moment happening.

"Don Krieg. I beg of you." Gin pleaded. "Couldn't we just leave the restaurant alone?!"

And at that very moment all of Don Krieg's self restraint snapped like a twig. "You bastard!" He stood up in rage. "Not only do you disobey my orders, but then you tell me what to do!"

Krieg did not appreciate anyone questioning or undermining his authority.

"Do you wish to die so much? I'm very disappointed in you." He reprimands Gin. "Don't I always say I detest these kinds of principles." He then took of one of his large shoulder pauldrons and attached it to his arm. "The rest of you, more to the other side."

My eyes widen. _Fuck shit fuck_ , I completely forgot about this part! How could I be so stupid!? How could I forget about the fucking poison bomb?!

Panic erupted in Krieg's ranks, informing us of the weapon's properties and threat as everyone fumbled to get their breathing masks on. _Fuckfuckfuck_ , I don't have a counter for this!

"Stop babbling over there. This is a battle. The purpose is to win." He said smugly, completely nonplussed by the notion of putting his men at risk. "Treacherous? Despicable? Don't you agree that this is acceptable? Winning is the goal. The method does not matter as long as you reach the foal.

"I don't care what consequences the poison gas will bring as long as I win. That is strength." Krieg stated his horrendous philosophy as if it were an ironclad rule of nature. My anger spiked. This man... was he so honourless and vile?

Yes. Yes he was.

I grit my teeth. "This is really bad."

"Thow away your mask!" Krieg barked at Gin, who held a gas mask in his hand. "You aren't one of mine anymore. You must die." He ordered coldly, with no remorse or sympathy. This piece of scum...

… I needed to focus. I needed a way to survive this! If I get caught in that poison... It's all over for me.

While I was distracted, Luffy rushed at Krieg, just as he did in canon. "I won't let you shoot that poisonous gas!" Krieg just slams the mast Luffy used as a bridge to make him stumble and fall on his butt. Then his shield opened up and shot stakes at Luffy, forcing him to run away and back to our side of this divide. He wasn't hit, thankfully.

Come on, think. Think!

"Gin!" Luffy calls out. "I've never heard of such cowardly words. I'm gonna destroy him."

I take steps forward. "Oi, oi! That's my line!" I say with a tone of annoyance as my brain keeps trying to make a plan that doesn't suck horse apples.

"Do not mock Don Krieg!" Gin yells at us. "He is the strongest man alive! And it's impossible for you to win."

"You stupid or something?" I hiss sharply. "Wasn't he trying to kill you just now?"

"Of course!" He says without missing a beat. "For me to talk about my feelings, is to betray the role I have. That's why this is the obvious consequence!"

He throws his gas mask away, into the water.

I grit my teeth. "The idiot..."

"Gin!" Luffy exclaims.

"Why?" Sanji asks. "Why?"

Krieg just sounds pleased. "So you realize at the end, eh? But it's too late. Die together with that cook."

His eyes darkened.

" **Poisonous Gas**..."

Oh... Oh God... I...

God damnit!

"Luffy!" I scream at the boy, using his name instead of a nickname. "Fling me into the air, as high as you can!"

"What-"

"HURRY!" I snap at him. Sensing my urgency he sends his arm out far back.

" **Gum Gum**..." His hand springs back and the moment it passes us I jump and place my leg on his palm. Luffy realigns his arm to spring me upwards and launches me high to the sky just in time. " **Slingshot**!"

" **PH5**!"

Don Krieg launches his poison weapon as I soar higher and higher. Luffy has a really amazing power in that scrawny body of his. I know he and Sanji will be fine. But this has gone on long enough. I'm finishing this now!

Time to show Krieg exactly _what_ he is fucking with!

* * *

 **[3rd Person]**

The explosion caused by PH5 was nothing compared to the toxic fumes it released into the area. Anyone caught in it's radius without protection was fated a slow and agonizing death.

The fatal potential of PH5 was truly horrendous, a weapon fit for a pragmatic monster like Krieg.

Luffy snatched and flung two protective masks to Sanji and Gin, but realized he lacked one himself too late. However, at the last moment a mask dropped by his feet. That mask saved Luffy's life.

But that mask was Gin's. He threw it away, forced the remaining mask on Sanji and it left the battle commander of the Don Krieg Pirates with a full dose of PH5. The man would surely die in a matter og hours.

Krieg was what most men would call honourless scum. He didn't believe in honor. He believed in winning by any means necessary. He always won, and no being could tell him different. That was strength.

"Pirate Admiral" Don Krieg laughed at his former subordinate's foolish sacrifice. He laughed and mocked Gin because of how idiotic the concept of sacrificing ones self for the sake of another was. It was so... so... Un-pragmatic. It didn't help him win.

Luffy was furious. Sanji was furious. But Krieg just laughed.

In fact, he laughed so hard that he completely disregarded the shadow descending upon him.

"H-hey! W-w-w..." A cook of the Baratie stuttered out of the bombs range.

"T-tha-that's..." A member of the Krieg Pirates stuttered, lifting their mask in fear and disbelief.

Sanji noticed too. His eyes widened to their breaking point. "What the hell?!"

Luffy, confused of what Sanji was looking at, also looked to see what was so fascinating. His jaw opened comically wide in wonder. "WOOOOAH!"

It was only after that that Krieg took time to notice. Notice how no one was paying attention to him. Notice a whisper in the back of his mind.

He noticed the shadow he stood in, despite it being a fairly cloudless day.

"HEY, COCKSUCKER!" A shout reached him. A familiar one, yet sounding so much more potent and powerful. Slowly Krieg turned his gaze to the sky.

And it was then that Don Krieg, though he'd never admit to it, felt fear.

A form, a truly massive form descended from the sky, shadowed by the sun behind it. And then Krieg realized it was heading straight for him.

" **MEGALO**..." The voice shouted fiercely and Krieg knew he had to get out of the way. He had to move right now! " **SKY METEOR**!"

The massive being crashed down onto the remains of Krieg's warship, causing a massive wave at the point of submersion, shattering every piece of the ruined warship into tiny splinters or dragging them under for good.

Krieg got out of that area, just barely. But the wave caused from the impact was strong enough to send him tumbling to the shattered fin of the Baratie. Don Krieg breathed heavily. He was certain of it. Whatever that was, it could have killed him. Easily.

"W-what the hell was that?" Sanji asked, nearly speechless of what he just witnessed.

The Baratie cooks and the Don Krieg Pirates were all speechless as well. Even the legendary "Red Leg" Zeff couldn't find anything to say.

Luffy... Luffy had no such issues.

"SOOOO COOOOL!" The boy yelled with an amazed glint in his eyes. A sort of childish wonder at something truly awesome and fantastic.

Then someone chuckled. It was a familiar chuckle, but held much more power behind it, despite it's near casual tone.

"OI, OI. SERIOUSLY? YOU MANAGED TO DODGE _THAT_?"

The Krieg Pirates shrieked in fear as a grey curved fin rose above the seas' surface. A massive fin, longer than any man present. It circled the Baratie, leaving behind a trail of slightly rising water as something pushed against it. Then a pointy nose rose after it, followed by a thick body covered in grey hide. It flashed its massive triangular serrated teeth, each bigger than a man's hand, nestled in a mouth big enough to swallow a man whole and bite smaller ships in half.

It was a shark. A truly massive shark. It was like a Sea King capable of sinking ships twice it's size, maybe more. And it was aiming a very familiar glare at Krieg with those pale blue, intelligent eyes.

"ALLOW ME TO EDUCATE YOU, CHUCKLE FUCK." The voice... no... the shark spoke in an almost bored tone as it kept circling the restaurant. "ABOUT WHAT KIND OF MONSTERS TRULY EXIST IN THIS OCEAN."

Krieg gaped, internally. On the outside he didn't allow himself to show shock or fear. "Y-you damn... You ate a Devil Fruit?!"

"AND THE PRODIGAL SON FIGURES IT OUT. GOOD JOB!" The shark, that... that _girl_ , ridiculed him. Him! Don Krieg!

"But that's impossible! You're in the ocean! You should drown! You're a Hammer!" He yelled. It had to be impossible! It was impossible! This had to be a trick!

"THAT'S NOT REALLY IMPORTANT, NOW IS IT? I AM SWIMMING ALONG, AM I NOT? SWIMMING ALONG~, SWIMMING ALONG~." That _girl_ wearing the monster shark's visage prattled on. "FOR YOU SEE, I ATE THE SHARK-SHARK FRUIT, AND BECAME A SHARK WOMAN."

Sanji was at a loss. "That... That kind of Devil Fruit exists?"

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughed excitedly, clapping his hands together over his head. "That's so awesome, Megalon!"

"Idiot! How can you be so okay with this?!" Sanji snapped at the dimwitted boy wearing a straw hat.

The shark continued, voice carrying condescending indifference. "YOU KNOW NOTHING OF STRENGTH, DON KRIEG. YOU KNOW ONLY YOUR SELF-MAINTAINED ILLUSION OF WHAT STRENGTH IS. ALLOW ME TO EDUCATE YOU ON TRUE STRENGTH.

"STRENGTH IS OVERCOMING ADVERSITY. IT IS SOMETHING ONLY THE WEAK ARE CAPABLE OF. IF YOU POSSESS STRENGTH TO NATURALLY OVERCOME ALL YOUR OPPOSITION, TO FACE ALL OF LIFE'S OBSTACLES, THAT IS NOT STRENGTH. THAT IS EMPTY POWER WITH NO SUBSTANCE.

"YOU BELIEVE STRENGTH TO BE ABOUT WINNING. YOU COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG. STRENGTH IS ABOUT LOSING. LOSING AGAIN AND AGAIN, THEN STANDING BACK UP TO TRY ONCE MORE. STRENGTH IS NOT MEASURED IN HOW STRONG YOU ARE, OR BY WHAT WEAPONS YOU WIELD OR ARMOR YOU WEAR.

"IT IS MEASURED BY WILL AND DETERMINATION ALONE! IT IS FOR THOSE TO CLAIM WHO WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON THEIR DREAMS! THAT IS WHAT SOMEONE MUST POSSESS TO MATCH GOLD ROGER AND REACH THE END OF THE GRAND LINE!"

Don Krieg was bristling. "You dare lecture me!? I am Don Krieg, the Strongest Man in East Blue! I am invincible! I can't ever lose! I WILL BE THE PIRATE KING!"

The shark was quiet for a moment, only staring at this arrogant, arrogant man. "A PITY. YOU ARE BEYOND REASON. AND AS SUCH..." The shark dove under the blue sea and disappeared.

Don Krieg, Sanji, Luffy, everyone looked around to find any sign of the massive sea predator. They didn't need to wait for long.

The massive creature leaped out of the sea, into the air. And it headed straight towards the Baratie. At Krieg.

"OH NO!" A Baratie cook shrieked.

"That fool is going to ram my restaurant!" Zeff yelled, more than a bit angry.

Sanji's eyes widened. "Oh crap!" Even Luffy was panicking.

"H-hey, hey! Don't come here!" The Straw Hat scrambled about, shaking his hands to and fro.

"DON KRIEG!" All of the Krieg Pirate screamed their captain's name. But Don Krieg, as he stared down at the looming monster heading his way...

He found himself unable to move a muscle. Unknowingly he'd been paralyzed by fear. More fear than he had ever felt in his life. Because of it he didn't notice that the massive form coming his way became smaller until it was too late.

" **FERAL SKY**..." A voice shouted as the shrinking form began to spin rapidly. When it reached Krieg, a heel was slammed down onto his skull at great strength and velocity. " **VORTEX HEEL**!"

Don Krieg, the Conqueror of East Blue, stood no chance as his skull was assaulted by a kick of such caliber. His eyes bugged out of their sockets from the shock. The one responsible flipped away from Krieg as he sunk to his knees, eyes blank and lifeless. Then he collapsed onto the ground, unconscious.

Megalon Grandwhite clicked her tongue and sneered at the downed man. "And as such I will bash your skull in, cocksucker!"

 **Episode 2**

 _ **Fin~**_

 **Next Episode** : Welcome to the Crew! Onward to Arlong Park!

* * *

 **A/N: Ho. Ly. Shit. This got waaay longer than I intended it to be, but not sleeping once you get really into it does that to a guy. That and I needed to make this fight as epic as possible. I like to think I succeeded. And maybe overdone it a bit. Proofreading this was such a pain. The biggest gripe was that I kept spelling Krieg's name slightly wrong and spotting the difference is so tedious.  
**

 **So now you all know Megalon's Devil Fruit. The Same Same no Mi, Model: Megalodon. An _Ancient Zoan_ type. Or as it is referred to in English, the  Shark-Shark Fruit. This ain't your run of the mill Devil Fruit, oh no, because it allows the user to actually swim, under certain conditions. We will explore this fruit more in- _depth_ (ha-haa, puns!) over the course of the story.**

 **Also a reminder: Timeline wise, Megalon has only had this power for four weeks, tops. She is still experimenting with it. ;)**

 **Aside from that, WOW! My reviewers seem to really like Megalon. I am so honoured and moved that some of you hold that opinion. My appreciations to you, all of you who find my insane Main Character amusing in all her crude glory.**

 _ **~Till Next Episode.~**_


	4. Episode 3

**Episode 3: Welcome to the Crew! Onward to Arlong Park!**

* * *

I was enjoying a peaceful siesta on the roof of the Baratie. I think I deserved it.

After I had showed my badass and knocked the ever loving shit out of Krieg, and damn did that feel satisfying by the way, Sanji and co. Swiftly tried to help Gin the best they could. I wasn't holding my breath. That PH5 was something nasty and his chances of survival were slim.

While that was happening the rest of Krieg's Weaklings got their asses handed to them via Luffy and I. They didn't stand a chance, but I didn't feel bad.

After his condition stabilized enough he took Krieg and the rest of his crew and departed with a final farewell. I was discreet and prayed for him to not die. For serving an utter bastard like Krieg, Gin was a good guy at heart. Deep down. I could appreciate that.

After all that had passed the Baratie celebrated their victory. Luffy got released of his indentured servitude and I got to eat my fill for free. That's what they said. Word to word. They regretted it almost instantly because after that fight, though I wouldn't quite call it that, I was feeling quite peckish and ate a shit ton of their meat.

Serves them right for underestimating me! Plus, I deserved that food. It was delicious. Tasted like... _Victory_. Which is why I am currently having a food nap on the roof. Sweet solitude.

Luffy hadn't gotten to bothering me yet, but I think that was only because he hadn't fully convinced Sanji to join his crew yet. Gotta give it to him, the guy sticks to his word. It's only a matter of time though.

"Hey!"

 _'GOD DAMNIT!'_ Speak of the devil and he shall appear. I don't even bother sitting up, just opening an eye to lazily look in his general direction. The brat is smiling. Figures.

I sigh. "You got him, didn't you?"

"Yup!"

I groan loudly and massage the bridge of my nose. This was not something I was waiting for. Not exactly. "You want to say something. Go on."

"Join my crew."

There it is. The big question- well, more of an unsaid order.

"Why?" I ask, then elaborate for Luffy's benefit. "Why do you want me, specifically, to join your crew?"

"You're a cool shark guy."

" _Lady_! I am a cool shark _lady_!" I grumble at him through gritted teeth with heavy emphasis. This will be a test of patience, I can tell. "But you didn't know it when you first asked me. Why did you ask me then?"

He shrugged. "Felt like it."

"LIKE HELL THAT'S YOUR REASON!" I snap at him and sit up just so I can shake him by the shoulders. He just laughs.

"You're funny, Megalon."

I froze. Did he just...

"You said my name right..." I said quietly. I... wait, WHY WAS I IMPRESSED?! That's sad!

I let out a sigh and let him go. "I just don't get it. What would I even be if I joined? Sanji is a cook, obviously. You're the captain. I hope to all heaven that you have a good navigator..."

"How'd you know I got Sanji?" Luffy asked.

"I figured he was the most interesting, so I placed my bets." I said dryly. And Lied. Like a liar.

I plop back down on my back and stare at the sky. "Me? I'm not anything, really. Pretty much all I can do is punch and kick really hard. Fighting is the only thing I'm actually good at. I don't know how much use I'd be."

A cloud passed overhead and I stared at it as it slowly moved in the sky. I think it looks a lot like a shark. Hmm... no, wait. It's just a formless cloud. Meh. Looks to be alone though...

"I don't care about any of that." Luffy says. I pass him a glance. "You're super strong, and that shark thing is really cool too." Ah, I think my ego grew three sizes just now. "Stop moping and join my crew already!"

"I'm not moping!" I growl at him.

...

Wait, hold on. I am doubting my usefulness. I AM moping! What the hell, this isn't me! What the shit!

I jump up to a standing position, a determined look on my face. Like hell will I ever be mopey! I REFUSE!

"You know what. Yes." I say and grin cockily. "I'll join your Crew, Straw Hat Luffy! Let's kick all sorts of ass on the Grand Line!"

"Yeah!" Luffy exclaims.

And... I feel sort of relieved.

Weird.

* * *

We'd set sail a moment ago, leaving the Baratie behind. I was glad I decided to sleep through Sanji's farewell moment, because all that sap might have driven me insane.

I went and properly introduced myself to Sanji and Yosaku, as Sanji only knew my from a brief mention of my first name and limited interaction and I literally just met Yosaku, and informed them that I too was drafted into Luffy's crew. Apparently Luffy forgot to do that. Way to make me pick up the slack.

Traveling via boat was... it felt weird. Maybe because I was so used to swimming large distances as a shark. I mean, this was far more comfortable and less tiring and energy consuming, not to mention the _fucking_ fish. But...

It was so fucking boring! My level of patience was... okay, it barely existed, so the mere thought of doing nothing was... I hated it!

Which leads to here and now.

I was playing cards with Yosaku, because Sanji is busy with food and Luffy... Luffy doesn't know how to play. Plus, his poker face is horrible. And by horrible I mean not even God could read it in a way that would qualify as a method.

Yosaku also had a big bump on his head for calling me a boy. I was not sorry.

And I also discovered how utterly unfair playing poker was when the other person is shit terrified of you. I swear, someday my glares will have the power to cut people. Waiting for that day will be interesting. Getting a reaction out of Yosaku was so easy it was almost sad.

Maybe that's why I kept fucking winning.

"Are you really even trying?" I ask after he folds. For the tenth. Fucking. Time. In a row.

"Y-yes." He stutters.

"THEN STOP FOLDING AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!" I snap at him. He scuttles away from me in clear terror. I have this guy on the ropes, and for once I am not happy about that.

I can't wait for something to happen. This just blows.

* * *

"... Oh my God." I manage to say. "That is actually really cute."

We had finally hit an event flag, thank God! We got intercepted by Mohmoo, the sea cow. And... God damnit, he was adorable! Trying to be threatening. It was so precious! I want to hug it.

I swear, this is the only feminine thing I do! Don't judge me!

"It's a sea cow!" Yosaku exclaims in fright.

"Why the fuck are you so scared?" I shoot an annoyed glance his way. "It doesn't look that scary."

"It could crush the ship!" He rebuked. I narrowed my eyes. He shut up.

I looked up at the sea cow, sizing it up. I could take it. It wasn't my first time dealing with big sea-life. The pissed off kind that doesn't like it when someone is pissing about their feeding spots.

Then again, I am not a massive shark right now... But that would be cheating, since I was pretty sure I could bite the sea cow in half if I _really_ tried.

Yeah, I think I could still take this guy on. My ego has been growing lately, but I'm pretty confident in this claim.

"Hey, you!" I point at the sea cow. He seems to notice and homes that 'fearsome' expression onto me. I flash him my teeth in a predatory grin. "Fight me!"

Mohmoo looks... confused, I think? Then he seems to notice my teeth and I swear I can see cold sweat forming on his body. I smile wider. I think I'm reminding him of his master.

"You want to fight that?!" Yosaku screams at me like I'm crazy.

"Yeah. Problem?" I ask casually.

"That's insane! Luffy-aniki, Sanji-aniki, help me out." He turns to our two other traveling companions.

"She can take care of herself." Sanji says. I appreciate his faith in me.

"Aww, but I wanted to fight it!" Luffy whines. I take issue with this.

"What? No! I called dibs!" I yell. Then I notice Mohmoo trying to subtly swim away, the coward. "OI! GET BACK HERE! I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU YET!" I just had gotten an idea.

Most likely scared for his life, and reminded of a certain shark fishman, Mohmoo actually responds and does swim back, looking mighty nervous. I walk to the railing and place one foot on it, beckoning the sea cow over. He does and I look him in the eye.

I relax my entire body for a second. And then I focus all my intent into a single glare. "I got some things I wanna ask. You'll comply, or I'll get _upset_ , okay~?" I ask in a creepy sing-song voice.

My stare must've done its job as Mohmoo quickly nodded his head. I've never seen such big eyes become so small in fear. Not that fast. I grinned.

"Know where Arlong Park is?" The sea cow stiffened at the name, but nodded. My grin grew wider.

* * *

"You are insane." Yosaku states stated his opinion, clear as crystal.

"Sanity get's boring and the insane ones always laugh. Think it's a coincidence?" I say from my new spot on top of Mohmoo's head. The sea cow was currently towing the pathetic thing we call a boat, as per my _request_.

Yosaku had been the most disbelieving when I had stared a sea cow and then intimidated it into submission and into towing the boat. Knowing the alternative would be getting the tar beat out of it via Luffy and Sanji, I decided to give Mohmoo a break.

Speaking of, the sea cow that was my seat was whining in discontent.

"OI!" I snap and bonk the sea cow on the head so hard a bump appeared. "SHOW SOME APPRECIATION! Be grateful you got off this easy!"

"Don't be to hard on him, Megalon-san." Sanji called out to me. "I've heard sea cow meat get's more chewy and low quality if they're stressed."

"We're not eating him." I state adamantly. I can feel the relief and appreciation from Mohmoo.

"You sure? I know a recipe that'd work nicely with some sauce and mushrooms." He asks.

I pat Mohmoo's head slowly in a comforting manner. "... I'll file that under consideration." My stomach won over my heart. The sea cow stiffens and freezes still. I gonk him on the head again. "HEY! I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO STOP! Get moving!"

"You are insane." Yosaku stated.

"You still on about that?"

* * *

Not even an hour had passed and my boredom was already at an all time high.

"... I can't do this anymore." I say evenly and jump off of Mohmoo's head and back to the ship. "Luffy."

"Yeah?"

"Throw me."

Silence permeates the deck. Sanji looks at me, confused, and Yosaku still has this notion that I am insane.

Luffy grins, figuring out what I was going for. "Okay!" He grabs my hand and prepares to-

"Wait, not y-AAAAH!" He does throw me off the edge of the ship, but not nearly far or high enough.

Now, normally Zoan users can transform pretty quickly, some in less than a second. In comparison, my transformation is slow as molasses because I am so new to it. It takes approximately five seconds for me to transform fully to my Megalodon Form. This is where the problem lies.

Luffy's throw did not offer nearly enough time for that, so my pathetic ass hit water, and look! There goes all my strength! As I sink, like the hammer I am, I make a valiant effort to hold my breath, but even that is extremely tedious. I just didn't have any energy for it.

God damnit, this is why eating a Devil Fruit sucks so much!

Thank God Sanji is a hella good swimmer and acted fast, dragging my ass back onto the boat. I spend the next thirty seconds gasping for breath and hacking up what little seawater I swallowed.

I began shivering.

"H-hey? You alright, Megalon-san?" Sanji asks in concern. I don't pay him any mind though as I stand up and in a flash have got Luffy by the vest.

"YOU DUMB SHIT, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?!" I roar at his face.

"You asked me to throw you!" Luffy defended himself.

"I DIDN'T MEAN RIGHT THEN AND THERE! YOU CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD!"

"I thought you could swim!"

"ONLY WHEN I'M A FUCKING SHARK!" I scream. "If I hit water as a human, I'll sink! I'm still a hammer, moron!"

This had been a big problem of mine when traveling. Usually I just hanged around near the shore, made sure there was enough space, transformed and then rolled into the sea. It wasn't pleasant, it was super hard because I weighed what I can only assume to be something, like, 50 tonnes or so. And it hurt my back fin, and that sucked.

The other method was to find a really long fall into the sea, usually a cliff-side, and then jump really high so I got enough air-time. I liked this one more.

Why must I suck at my own powers so much? Zoans are supposed to be the most simple of the Devil Fruits. You get exactly two things: Animal forms and superpowers(strength, toughness, stamina,etc.). And I can't do the first one right!

I proceeded to let my anger get the better of me and Sanji had to step in before I would actually start beating the shit out of Luffy. No doubt he could take it, but I would've felt bad later.

Maybe.

* * *

"Question." I raise my voice.

"Go on ahead, Megalon-san." Sanji says and I nod my head in appreciation.

"Thank you." I start dryly. I take a deep breath before asking my burning question. "WHY THE FUCK AM I TIED TO THE FUCKING MAST!?"

I was, indeed, tied to the mast of the boat. Pretty securely too, with unnecessary amounts of rope. The three guys were sitting in a half-circle in front of me.

"This is a cautionary measure." Sanji says.

"A fucking what?" I ask, not believing the words coming out of his mouth.

"I've noticed you get angry pretty easily, as you did just now. So I think it's a good idea to let you simmer down for a bit. We'll let you go after you've calmed down, okay?"

"YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! This is stupid!" I yell at his bullshit and begin thrashing. I might be really strong, but Sanji knows how to tie a fucking badass _tight_ knot.

After a minute I resign to the fact that I'm not getting out of these on my own. So I do try to do as asked of me. To calm down. I close my eyes. Deep breaths, relax your body. Think of beating up the person you hate the most(Krieg). Kick that son of bitch in the groin. Numerous times. Repeat any step as necessary. Relieve the tension. Calm...

I open my eyes.

"This isn't working!" I shout. "How can I try to calm down when these ropes are pissing me off! THEY CHAFE! AAARGH!" I bend my neck so I can snap my jaws at the rope, but my reach is sorely lacking. Not being able to formulate a proper alternative, I did the only thing I could.

Raged, complained and swore like a fucking sailor!

It continued like that for an hour before I fell asleep.

* * *

 _'... what the actual fuck?'_

The first thing I see when I wake up is that I am surrounded splintered wood, remains of... something. Absolutely burrowed by the stuff, actually.

I have no clue what is going on. What happened while I was asleep?

I try to get up but feel an odd weight keeping me down, aside from all the wooden rubble. I look back and ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I am still tied to the fucking mast! But how? I can distinctly feel dirt beneath my side.

I feel the irritation of not knowing what the fuck is going on now begin to boil. With all my strength I work to stand up, and surprisingly enough I do so with only some moderate much resistance. The rest of my body pops out from a pile of wooden rubble.

I look back and see that while the mast is still tied to me, it is not attached to the ship anymore. As for the ship... Well, now I figured out what happened. I had somehow slept through the event where the ship was sent flying through the air, then through a forest, followed by crashing into Zoro and then a cliff-side.

So now I was surrounded by the remains of the ship. The broken off mast still attached to me like an annoying body weight.

... Fuck. I'm a heavy sleeper, but this is ridiculous!

I also notice a distinct lack of Luffy, Yosaku or Sanji. The question pops up; _'Where the fuck are the guys?'_ An obvious and easily reachable answer worms its way deep into my mind.

I feel a vein pop. Hard. I had been ditched... Those bastards dared to forget me here and leave?!

Before I realize it I had taken off running, unhindered by the added weight the mast has on my back. I was seeing all red right now and I want nothing more than to find those three bastardly backstabbing betrayers!

"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU, YOU RAT BASTARDS?! I'LL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF YOU BEFORE I KILL YOU!" I roar in absolute rage, unknowingly running full speed towards Cocoyashi Village, Nami's home.

 **Episode 3**

 _ **Fin~**_

 **Next Episode** : Battle at Arlong Park! Rage That Transcends Reason?!

* * *

 **A/N: This is essentially filler. It so is. ...I am not ashamed.**

 **This one got reworked a lot because I kept doing it wrong. Being happy with your work is so taxing, I swear... When something feels wrong the first instinct is to go "GAH, how horrible! Delete it, delete it!". Ah, the _joys_ of being a writer.**

 **Also, one of my reviewers asked about ships... I mean, have you _seen_ Merry! Mreow~. But all kidding aside, all surprises stop being fun once revealed. Or not. WHO THE HELL KNOWS, RIGHT?! :D**

 **Welp, at least the next episode Megalon is going to actually meet the rest of the Straw Hats. That'll be fun! She is hyper pissed though so...**

 _ **~Till Next Episode~**_


	5. Episode 4

Episode 4: Battle at Arlong Park! Rage That Transcends Reason?!

* * *

 **[Third Person]**

Nami felt... she didn't know. She wasn't sure. She wanted to cry so badly as she felt the straw hat on her head. Heck, she _did_ cry.

Luffy... Even after all she'd done, after all she'd said... He still wanted to help her this much, without any hesitation. Nami knew how much Luffy treasured his straw hat, and to give it to her... It was such an immense sign of trust.

Nami didn't feel like she deserved it, and yet it had been given with almost no hesitation.

Luffy, Zoro, Usopp, even Sanji had walked to Arlong Park to fight. To fight for _her_. The ones she betrayed, like she had so many others.

Was this... what having true friends was like? She wasn't sure but... She wanted it to be true. She wanted it to be true so badly.

"oooooooarh!" Nami was broken out of her thoughts by a distant cry. And it was coming closer, rapidly. "ooooooOOOOOAR!"

Rounding the corner of a building rushed a person with the most vividly red hair Nami had ever seen and cold blue eyes that caught Nami's attention. They radiated more anger and rage than Nami had ever seen in her life.

That and they were tied to what looked like a broken mast. That was... something, to be sure.

"OOOOOO- huh?" The person skidded to a halt right by her and stared at Nami with those cold eyes. "You! I know that hat! Where is he?!"

Nami blinked, not sure what to feel right now. This person was obviously looking for Luffy. '"Uhh..." An intelligent and informative answer, truly.

"I ASKED WHERE THAT RAT BASTARD WENT!" The red-head screamed at her face before something weird happened. As if snapping from a trance the red-headed person flinched and backed off a bit, eyes widening. The anger in those eyes was gone, like smoke. "Wait... aren't you... You're Nami, right?"

"Uhh... yes." Nami manages to reply. She follows the stranger's gaze to her injured shoulder, still bleeding from her stabbing that detestable tattoo that had tarnished her skin for so many years. The red-head's brow furrowed.

"That knife. Cut these ropes." They turned and gestured at the ropes tying them to the broken mast using their head.

"H-huh?"

"Just cut the ropes! It's not a complex request!" The red-head snapped at her.

"Ah, yes. Wait." Nami muttered and used her good arm to cut the ropes as fast as she could. Soon enough the ropes gave away and the mast fell to the ground with a loud thud.

"Wheew, thanks for that!" The red-head said, rolling their shoulders, elbows and wrists. Immediately they started to sprint off, but stopped and returned. They grabbed the broken mast and lifted it on their shoulder with ease. "Still taking this. Got something to do with it. Where is Arlong Park?"

Nami, a bit flustered at the time only pointed at the direction. The red-head nodded and was about ot run off again before stopping, again. They looked back with a grin showcasing very familiar looking rows of sharp teeth. Just like _his_. The sight unnerved her somewhat.

"Oh, by the way. Should really consider _cutting_ the habit of playing with knives. It'll really _slice_ years off your life if you take a _stab_ at it- oh fuck me, I'm so mad I'm punning! GOD DAMNIT! LUFFYYYYY!"

And the person with red hair sped off towards Arlong Park, leaving behind a somewhat confused Nami.

"... Who the heck was that?"

* * *

 **[First Person, Megalon]**

Okay, was probably not thinking very straight if it took me a bit to recognize Nami. At least that sobered me up a bit but I'm still mad as hell! All that did was help me focus a part of my anger to that _other_ motherfucker.

I ran at full speed, the broken mast on my shoulder. I'd thought of some use for it now that it wasn't being a stupid training weight. A kind of ironic vengeance, at least for me. But first I needed to get there before Luffy starts anything. I refuse to miss this fight, damnit!

I can already see Arlong Park and pick up speed as I ready the mast. The gate has been busted open, Luffy's doing. So at the very least he has punched Arlong in his prick face already. The mere thought of missing out on all this is kindling the fire that is my anger.

When I am close enough I begin my entrance.

"LUFFFYYYYYY! SANJIIII!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I see that red-vested rat and the blond-haired prick on the other side of the gates. I ignore the large amounts of people, inhabitants of Cocoyashi as well as Johnny and Yosaku, and jump straight over them with a superhuman leap.

"Megalon-aneki!" I faintly hear Yosaku exclaim in surprise by the gates, but I am too busy. I spot Luffy, and he is turning towards my voice. Perfect!

"YOU BASTARD!" I scream bloody murder as I swing the mast down onto his head, smashing his rubbery face into the ground. The impact left a nice crater behind. God damn I love being strong! "THAT'LL TEACH YOUR JERK FACE, JERK!"

No one had expected me, so I drew an array of reactions.

Usopp was shrieking in terror that I had just assaulted Luffy out of nowhere. Zoro's hands were at his swords, registering me as a threat(I'm honoured). And then there was...

"Megalon-san?!" Sanji exclaims in wide eyed surprise. I immediately lift the mast and swing it again, slamming him in the face with it. He flies a bit back before hitting the ground face first. I know he is tough enough to take it.

"ONE FOR YOU TOO, JACKASS!" I yell at the top of my lungs. "HOW DARE YOU TWO JUST DITCH ME! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MAD I AM RIGHT NOW? JUST MOMENTS AGO I WAS READY TO KILL YOUR BETRAYING ASSES!"

"Hpmh, another human-" Arlong pipes up and I reflexively throw the mast like a javelin at his prick face, sending him flying to the wall surrounding the park, like Luffy did with his punch before I showed up.

"YOU STAY OUT OF THIS YOU FISH FUCK! I'M COMING FOR YOU IN DUE TIME, SO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I voice my displeasure at the sawshark fishman. The rest of Arlong's crew gape at my anger. That, or the fact I had the gall to strike out at Arlong so casually that it was close to an afterthought.

"... What the heck is going on?" Zoro asks, clearly no knowing what is going on.

"AAAH! It's another monster!" Usopp shrieks in fright. I send a toothy scowl his way. "AAAH! IT IS A MONSTER!"

"YOUR NOSE IS A MONSTER, DICK!" I shoot back at him.

Luffy get's up from his own personal crater and dusts his clothes. He doesn't even look like I hurt him that bad(which frustrates me). Then he sees me. "Oh! Hey, Megalon!"

"Don't you 'Hey, Megalon!' me like nothing happened! You rat-brained fuckers ditched me!"

He tilts his head to the side. "We did?"

"I was tied to the fucking mast, remember?! Come on!"

"Would somebody please tell me what's going on." Zoro speaks up, eyeing me warily.

"That's... Megalon-san. She's part of the crew." Sanji says, getting up while holding his head. "Sorry, we... might have gotten a bit sidetracked."

"Oh. _S_ _idetracked_? That's your excuse?" I growl venomously. "Be glad I ran into that Nami chick or else all my anger would be on your sorry asses and you'd be DEAD!"

"Ah! Sorry, we kinda forgot." Luffy says unhelpfully.

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I'M MAD, YOU MORON!" I snap at him.

Zoro keeps looking at me funny. I hate it. "So you're an ally?" I make an attempt to relax my posture and stand straight while returning his look with a glare of my own.

"Name's Megalon Grandwhite, and against these fish-bastards, yes. After that, I might beat Rubber Boy and Curly Brow senseless if I feel justified or unsatisfied enough after this is done." I say as calmly as I can. Which is not much.

After a moment of sizing me up, he relaxes a bit. "Sounds reasonable."

"Yosh!" Usopp gives me a thumbs up. "Nice to have another guy on my team!"

" _Girl_! I'm. A. Fucking. _GIRL_!" I snap my jaws at him. He cowers in fear. Pussy. I crack my knuckles and let a feral grin dominate my face. "But anyway. I'm glad I made it in time. I didn't want to miss the fight."

"You've got some nerve." I turn just as Arlong is climbing out of that rubble pile I sent him to, looking insultingly unaffected by a mast-to-the-face. "Barging here and giving me orders." He notes my teeth and his eyes narrow. "You bear fishman blood?"

"As if I'd want to be associated with the likes of you even if I did." I sneer at him. "I'm one hundred percent human, fish-dick!"

"Makes little difference then." Arlong scoffs. "One more human will not change the fact that you will die for standing against us fishmen."

And the condescending supremacist bullshit begins! Well fuck you, I'm part shark! Come to think of it, doesn't that make me a sort of pseudo-fishman?

... Nah, probably not! Can't even go hybrid, so fuck me I guess.

I glance at Luffy. "I take it you want that sharp-nosed asshole, right?" He nodded. "I'll just assume everyone else is free game. Should warn you though. I'm pretty fucking livid right now, so I can't promise I'm able to fully control myself."

"You think pretty highly of yourself." Zoro speaks up, eyeing me. "But do you have the strength to back it up?"

I flash him a predatory grin. "You'll see soon enough, Roronoa Zoro." I allow my grin to turn into a borderline psychotic smile. "After all, it was _I_ who defeated Don Krieg with a _single_ strike." I was hyping it up a bit, but it was still practically true so I didn't care.

"Y-y-y-you beat Don Krieg? IN A SINGLE STRIKE?!" Usopp exclaims, looking both amazed and horrified that he was in the presence of _yet another_ monstrously strong individual. Poor guy just can't catch up.

Zoro was suspicious. "Luffy?"

"Yup." The Straw Hat confirms my words. "Megalon is really strong."

Ahh~, my ego! Such large presence you have!

"Good enough for you, Mr. Moss Hair-"

A lone fishman seemed dumb enough to try and charge me while I wasn't paying attention. He was sorely mistaken and I backhanded my fist into his face and rocketed his ass straight into the ground with a crack. I don't know if it was the floor or the guy's bones. And I made it look like I barely tried.

I sent one of my most potent glares at the rest of the fishmen and growled through my teeth. "Haven't you been taught it's basic manners to _not_ interrupt someone in the middle of a conversation, sea food?"

Hypocrisy aside, my terrifying presence has a notable effect on the fishmen, save for Arlong and his three strongest men: Hachi, that weird lip-guy whose name I can't bother to recall and Kuroobi.

Arlong seemed highly displeased that a _mere_ human made his fishmen shiver in their boots. Kuroobi and the weird lip-guy seemed unimpressed. And Hachi... Well, Hachi was not the smartest. He laughed and stepped to the side of the pool in a confident stride.

"You guys are idiots." Says the real idiot. "You think Arlong-san will waste his time with the likes of you?! _He'll_ be enough for the job!" And then he blew some sort of call from his tube-like mouth. I allow myself to grin widely. I knew what was coming up.

The ground began to shake and, as if a tidal wave was approaching, the sea beyond the seaside gates of Arlong Park began to rise as something approached through the waters .

"You guys can be his next meal!" Hachi exclaimed. "Come on out! Mohmoo!"

And lo and behold, out of the pool emerged a rising pillar of water, cloaking the creature within.

"It's... It's a monster!" Usopp cries pathetically. "The monster from the Grand Line that crushed Goza Village!"

Then the familiar form of a green-spotted sea cow emerged, looking absolutely pathetic with a bruised face and a big bump on his head. Almost makes me feel sorry for him.

"It's huge!" Usopp shrieks in fright. I take it as my duty to knock him upside the head.

"Be quiet. It's annoying." I say to him and take a few steps at the sea cow, waving lazily at him as if greeting an old drinking buddy. "Oi, it's been a while!"

Mohmoo lays one glance at me and in an instant I see a look of dread in his eyes as he cries fearful tears. Memories of me utterly dominating him no doubt flashing back to his mind, he just turns to leave.

"HEY, YOU DARE RUN AWAY NOW? MAN UP AND FIGHT ME!" I scream after him, feeling somewhat insulted.

"You wanted to fight that?!" Usopp cries in shock at my apparent lack of self-preservation.

"Wait, Mohmoo? Where are you going?" Hachi calls to the fleeing sea cow. It does not seem to be working, his desire to be far away from me trumping all loyalties.

"Mohmoo... What are you doing?" Arlong speaks with eerie calm as Mohmoo stops in his tracks. Guess he fears Arlong more than me. I take offense to that. "Well, if you want to run away, I won't stop you... Would I, Mohmoo?"

With fear now overriding all hesitation the sea cow turns and charges us, some fishmen joining in the attack at our little group.

"It's coming!" Usopp scream in panic.

"Hell yeah, about time!" I pump my fist, ready to fight.

Zoro prepares to draw his blade, Sanji smirks while Luffy is all ready to act, stepping forward.

"I'll take care of it! This is a waste of time!" And then he sinks both his feet into the stone flooring.

"... What." I say in dull bewilderment.

"What the hell is he gonna do?" Sanji questions.

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Zoro says.

With Mohmooh and the fishmen charging Luffy, he spun his torso around many times in a way only someone made out of rubber could. Then he extended his arms to grab Mohmoo by the horns and... wait... Why does it feel like I am forgetting something?

"Oi, run!" Zoro says quickly.

"What? What is he gonna do?" Sanji asks.

"I dunno but it won't be pretty!" Zoro says as the two run off. I turn to their direction in confusion.

"... Whaaaa-" I drawl out slowly, wondering what they are so scared about.

" **Gum-Gum**..." Luffy screams. My eyes widen as I remember! " **Windmill!** "

Luffy lifts Mohmoo's massive body and then spins it in a circle, hitting the fishmen, the main building and, because I am slow and forgot this was a thing, I too got hit by Mohmoo's hulking body.

"Gaaaaah!" I screamed as the sea cow crashed into me, knocking the breath out of my lungs and I stuck to his body because of centrifugal force and got spun around too. It was dizzying and a bit sickening. Just before Luffy released and threw Mohmoo back into the sea I slipped out of that spin and it flung my ass really high in the air.

"GOD DAMNIT, LUFFY!" I screamed furiously as I gained altitude. Normally this would be a good time to transform, but I was above land and the landing would've hurt like a bitch and I'd also become a sitting duck with how big I was. So I was left with the only option I had, as per laws of physics.

Scream loudly as my ass stopped ascending and begun to rapidly descend back down. Right at the Arlong Building. I crashed right through the top spire, went right through the ceiling and the numerous floor on the way down before everything came crashing down onto the bottom level. My landing sent a tremor through the earth and made a big crater.

And let me tell you, if I didn't have Zoan durability I'd be out cold, likely even dead from egregious internal damage. Everything hurt like a bitch. I think I got a several broken ribs, my back feels like absolute shit and I'm pretty sure I landed on my left arm, so that is likely broken too. I _think_ I might be bleeding from places. I may also have taken a solid blow to the head when my skull connected with the floor, so I might have a concussion. _Maybe_.

I don't know for how long I just lied there and grit my teeth at all the pain in my everything. I didn't cry, I was too badass and proud for that, but that didn't make it hurt any less.

But I was conscious. I was alive. And more importantly, I was _pissed_! Pissed enough to ignore all the signs of my body just wanting to stay the fuck down. I pushed myself up with a growl. I used my right arm - lefty _was_ definitely broken with how limp it was – and got onto my feet and began drudging my ass towards the front door. Which I kicked off it's hinges, along with some of the surrounding wall, with an angry shout because FUCK THE DOOR!

I stepped outside with a dark look in my eyes and a vicious snarl on my lips, my left arm limp at my side.

"Megalon?!" I heard Sanji exclaim and based on his tone I was presuming I must've looked pretty bad.

"Oh, you're still alive." Arlong noted condescendingly. I ignored his prick face for a second to see what exaclty I had missed.

Usopp wasn't here, must be fighting that weird fishman elsewhere. There was Zoro and Sanji. Kuroobi and Hachi were still here, as was Mr. Fish-Fucker... Wait...

.. Oh no... _No_...

I felt something primal within me stir and I clutched my right hand into a tight fist. "Sanji," I spoke quietly as my eyes narrowed dangerously. "Where is Luffy?"

"Luffy..." Sanji said with a grimace "He was-"

"Shahahahaa!" Arlong laughed cruelly and spread his arms wide in an almost theatrical fashion. "That Devil Fruit eater is down in the sea, a grave he deserves! Shahahaha!"

My eyes set on Arlong, laughing like the heartless monster he is. My insides felt like they were burning with the anger- no, the pure rage I was feeling as he continued to laugh and laugh. My whole body shivered and trembled as that rage grew, and grew...

I don't know what came over me, but I began to chuckle softly.

Arlong stopped laughing and sent one of his condescending looks at me. "What is this? So afraid to die you cannot do anything but laugh? Seems you finally realize the futility of your efforts, human."

"...he...heheh...hehehehe..." I chuckled a bit more before it suddenly grew into a full blown laugh. A loud laugh. A mad laugh. A _distinct_ laugh. "Samemememe! Fear? You? Is that supposed to be a joke? You are such a FUCKING comedian! Samememe!"

Then I feel that primal sensation. As I continue to laugh I could feel my muscles tense up and shift. I felt myself growing in size and stature, my body morphing into a new shape. I felt a dorsal fin sprout from my back and my teeth growing along with my jaw as my head restructured itself. And as I did all this, I hear my laugh grow deeper and deeper until it sounds borderline masculine and manly.

I felt all eyes on me, even Arlong's. I can see a look of shock as he grows smaller and smaller from my perspective. And that is the last thing I see before my brain just shuts down.

* * *

 **[Third Person]**

Sanji was a cook of the sea. He had seen and heard some pretty unbelievable things over the years, but sometimes things just surprise you. One of those things was the first time he saw Megalon transform into that massive shark – a creature big enough to drag Baratie under by itself – to take Krieg on. And while she didn't use it much in the actual fight, Sanji could tell that Megalon could have theoretically smashed into Krieg and taken him _and_ the Baratie in one decisive movement.

There was no doubt in his mind that Megalon was a powerful lady. A crude, anger-prone and impulsive lady. But what he bore witness to made him lose his cool.

He knew some things about Devil Fruits, such as that the one Megalon used was a Zoan type. He had seen her in her Shark Form, but not in any kind of hybrid form that all Zoan users possessed. She had even briefly mentioned, while bored, that she hadn't managed to transform into it yet while on their way to Arlong Park.

But Sanji was _absolutely_ sure that was _exactly_ what was happening at this very moment.

Laughing madly like something inside her had snapped and broken, Megalon began to change. The change was slow, taking place over the course of seven seconds that seemed to drag on forever. Her form grew larger and more muscular, her head took a more shark-like shape and more or less fused with her body, her mouth and jaws grew bigger and wider along with her teeth and a large arching dorsal fin grew on her now hunched back.

When it was all over, in the place of Megalon stood a monstrously giant figure. It's body proportions were a bit off with smaller, short but thick legs and long, excessively muscular arms. Arlong was pretty tall and big, but he looked absolutely tiny in comparison to the hulking monstrosity. It was three times Arlong's height, him reaching only it's hip. The hulking shark-thing had dark grey hide, with white on the front of it's body starting from the lower jaw.

If Sanji didn't know better he'd think it was just a massive shark fishman, with emphasis on the _man_. While she was transforming, Megalon's laughter began sounding less and less like herself, and now it sounded like a deep-voiced man was laughing in her stead.

"Megalon... san?" Sanji asked himself weakly. The hulking figure had all the same clothing, as they changed along with the user to fit them. The same tank top, the same patterned cargo pants, the same sandals and the same bandages she wraps around her arms and knuckles. Even he could barely recognize her, and he saw it happen right in front of his eyes. The change was so drastic.

"Oi, what the hell is _that_?" The Marimo asked, hands at his swords.

"Megalon-san is a Devil Fruit user." Sanji explained. "Although... something feels very off about this."

Arlong was shocked by the drastic change that had taken place. Instead of a frail looking human now was... _that_. A mockery of a fishman! "You... You ate a Devil Fruit as well. Who are you?!"

Then the massive laughing giant shark-man stopped laughing and inclined its head to look at Arlong. "I ARE..." The man-shark spoke in a loud, rumbling voice as it raised its massive fist and Arlong knew he had to dodge. He jumped out of the way of the relatively slow punch that exploded and obliterated the floor he once stood on. " _SAMEHADA_!"

Arlong grimaced. This _thing_ was powerful, extremely so. It drew back its fist and let out a bellowing, feral roar.

This _thing_ was dangerous.

"Well, looks like Luffy wasn't lying. She's really something." Zoro said.

"... No, something is wrong." Sanji said. "Look closer."

"Huh?" Zoro asked. "What are you talking about?"

"Her eyes..." Sanji said, pointing at the massive brute. Its eyes were stark white, lacking any signs of intelligent or rational thought. They were the likes of a shark during a blood-frenzy. "I don't think Megalon-san is quite herself right now."

Zoro seemed to get it, a hands going to his swords. "Which means, we ought to be on our guard."

The man-shark roared so powerfully that for a moment you could've thought that the air reverberated with it.

Kuroobi took a fighting stance and readied himself. "This is quite a surprising twist of circumstance. No matter. We must defeat this adversary. Mere size does not equal strength!" He then charged the massive man-shark. "I'll show you the power of my Fishman Karate!"

"Wait, Kuroobi-san!" Hachi yelled after his comrade.

" **Fishman Karate** ," Kuroobi begins his attack and jumped high enough to be on the massive man-shark's chest level and struck its chest with his fist. " **Hundred Brick Fist!** "

The attack landed fully, but had no other effect than making the man-shark flinch slightly. Kuroobi stared in wide eyed shock at how little the technique accomplished.

He was so shocked he didn't notice the massive fist that struck him. The punch held massive power behind it, pounding him straight to the ground below with a large earth shaking crash. When the fist was lifted, Kuroobi was beaten and battered, barely conscious. And even that left him when the fist descended again. And _again_.

Sanji, Zoro, Hachi and Arlong could only stare with varying levels of shock as the massive man-shark continued to pummel the unconscious Kuroobi with its right fist, stuck in a state of violent frenzy. The left arm clung limply to its side and slightly flailed with each strike.

A scream came from one of the citizens by the gates, and immediately the man-shark's fist stopped mid-punch.

"... Oh hell." Zoro spoke, having a really bad feeling. His worry was proven justified when the man-shark turned its mindless eyes at the group of people behind the fallen gates. Then it roared and turned. "Oi, seriously?"

"Megalon-san, don't-" Sanji tried to shout at the frenzied being.

"That won't work! She's beyond our reach right now." Zoro said gravely, drawing his swords. "You should quickly see about Luffy."

"Oh, shit! I forgot about him! But... Megalon-san..."

"I'll take care of it." Zoro said firmly. "Now get going!"

Just then the massive man-shark moved in a slow half-run, straight for the citizens of Cocoyashi Village. It let out a feral roar as its lips drew back, revealing its teeth in their full deadly glory.

It was also when Zoro zoomed at it, all three swords – two in his hands and one in his mouth – ready. He placed the two blades over his mouth blade in a formation and spun them in his hands while he ran. He didn't like the idea of using this on an ally but... this situation left little options. This thing was extremely strong and dangerous, so he knew he had to end it fast.

Zoro jumped to meet the man-shark midway.

" **Santoryu Secret Technique: Three Thousand Worlds!** " He passed the giant man-shark in an instant. The massive being took a few more slow steps before stopping dead on its tracks. Three large gashes appeared on it's right side and right arm and the man-shark bellowed – in rage or agony, Zoro couldn't tell.

What he could tell was that cutting that man-shark's hide had taken more effort than he had anticipated. The thing had thick skin, he gave it that. But before he could do anything more he winced in pain. Using that technique and the extra effort he had to put into it had opened up his old wounds from his fight with Mihawk.

That would be an annoyance.

But what about the girl wearing a monster's skin? The massive man-shark had been quiet. As in absolutely silent. Zoro turned just in time to see the man-shark fall on its knees before the rest of the body followed, slamming into the ground with a tremor and setting off a cloud of dust.

When it began to shrink and shift back into the girl – Megalon, Zoro recalled her name – that Zoro knew he'd succeeded in stopping a rampaging monster from harming the villagers. A job well done.

But that left him to deal with everything else. That bastard cook had done as ordered and likely went to see if Luffy was still even remotely alive while he was left with the octopus fishman and Arlong.

Zoro grinned. He could take those two, he bet. He did, the octopus at least, before his injuries got the better of him.

It didn't take long after for Luffy to reveal that he was alive, freed from the sea bed by Sanji and kept alive and breathing by Genzo – the village's leader figure – and Nojiko – Nami's sister – and the Straw Hat fought Arlong by himself. He'd prove his friendship towards Nami and his dedication to have her in his crew by defeated Arlong with an attack that completely leveled Arlong Park.

The Straw Hats had won.

But now they were left with the severely bleeding and unconscious body of the red-haired, foul mouthed and highly temperamental girl with three deep gashes in her right side and arm.

Her fate lied uncertain.

 **Episode 4**

 _ **Fin~**_

 **Next Episode** : Awaken for the Aftermath! Goodbye Cocoyashi!

* * *

 **A/N: Of course, being the Main Character with ridiculous and obligatory Plot Armor, she will survive. Now for some interesting ~Trivia~!**

 **And it's about Megalon's forms! [*Off-screen cheering*]  
**

 **An estimated size of a real Megalodon ranged somewhere from _15 to 18 meters_ in overall length. Megalon's full Megalodon/Shark Form is much larger, a whopping _25 meters_ long. This makes her much bigger than Going Merry, and maybe even Thousand Sunny, and makes it correct to classify Megalon's Shark Form as a lesser Sea King. Her rough hide is thick and rubbery enough to stop bullets and can take direct cannon ball fire. In this form Megalon is at her strongest point while in the sea. (The form is also _utterly useless_ on land, obviously.)**

 **Her hybrid form, debuted in this very episode, is approximately 6 meters tall, muscled as all _fuck_ and sounds like a macho, grizzled man. It has no tail. It is slightly bigger than Chopper in his Monster Point. If you want some sort of visual aid, think along the lines of Street Sharks. And, as it is seen in this Episode, it can be quite _vexing_ to control, especially while angry. Its hide is thick enough that cutting it with a sword takes some extra effort. We don't know yet if this form is capable of swimming in any capacity. In this form Megalon is at her strongest while on land. (And it does _not_ help people assume that Megalon is a girl. Poor gal.)**

 **We also find out that Megalon now has her own distinct laughter, as do a large number of people in the One Piece-world. Hers is: Samememe! Same, of course, is the Japanese word for shark. _Theming!  
_**

 **Fun – if fairly obvious – fact: Megalon's name is a combination of two shark species. Megalon is, of course, from the ancient and mighty Megalodon, while here surname Grandwhite is from still kicking badass of the seas, the Great White Shark. Two badass sharks equal our heroine who has confidence pouring out of her ears.**

 **Also, no way would Zoro have taken her out that easily _under normal circumstances_ , even using Three Thousand Worlds. Zoans are tough like that. But as it stood, Megalon was already quite damaged from the consequences of Luffy's improvised attack. Zoro just tipped the scales enough for it to matter.**

 **Overall, this was fun to write, if only because Megalon is absurdly powerful for someone this early in the series. It's not even Grand Line yet! My justification is that Zoan powers are the most static of the Devil Fruits, so they give instant bonuses but are harder to develop further. But trust me, things won't always be this easy for her. No way Jose. This is One Piece, motherfuckers!**

 _ **~Till Next Episode!~**_


	6. Episode 5

**Episode 3: Awaken for the Aftermath! Goodbye Cocoyashi!**

* * *

 _Nursing a broken leg was not fun. It hurt, it was a bother and it itched with no way to scratch the spot under the cast. She didn't like it. She_ hated _it. But that was what she got for picking fights with kids bigger than herself. She was strong, stronger than most kids her age, but that didn't help when it was four-on-one. She could complain as much as she wanted but it wouldn't stop it being her own damn fault that she got her teeth kicked in each time._

 _She_ hated _it._

 _Her "home", if you can call it that, was not a nice place either. It was a big house, but it was hers. It would be hers and she wouldn't need to even start paying for living there until she turned eighteen. And it was so... empty. She_ hated _that, too. It was such a big place for such a little girl._

 _And most of all, it was not a nice place to leave, but neither was it a nice place to come back to. Because no matter how many times she exited or entered the door, there wouldn't be a Papa to bid her a safe trip, or a Mama to welcome her back home. No one to comfort her when she broke something and it hurt and she wanted to do nothing but cry._

 _There never had been. She_ hated _it._

 _She was only six years old and she had a house to her name. It was weird, unnatural. Other kids found it weird that she was living all alone. That is, when they weren't making fun of her for having no mom and no dad. For having weirdly red-hair and those eerie blue eyes or her weird and unusual name. Those who picked on her she'd beat up. Those who didn't pick on her avoided her like the plague. And those who had the nerve to approach her without ill intent were always driven off when they inevitably said the wrong thing as she reacted badly._

 _She_ hated _it._

 _She_ hated _living in that big, dumb, empty house. She_ hated _entering and leaving that big, stupid, empty house. She_ hated _not having a stupid Mom or a stupid Dad! She_ hated _the other FUCKING stupid kids, all of them!_

 _But most of all... she_ hated __#_ &*%x$_._

 _And it made her angry..._

 _... So... Angry..._

* * *

Consciousness comes to me in a form I can put into words. It was like a day after your ex-girlfriend dumps you and you drink yourself miserable out of spite, then wake up knowing you've made a huge mistake and probably did something super harmful to your body while under the influence.

Overall, I think my body has been to hell and back while I was out. I can't help but to wonder what the fuck happened. The last thing I remember... it's super fuzzy. Something, something Arlong Park... Something, something Luffy...

...

"OH SHI- ooooooooww!" I jump into a sitting position, fully awake now and boy, do I immediately regret my decision and force my ass back down. Holy fuck, my everything! It feels like I was hit be a train, twice, and then got cut by some back-alley asshole after my liver. Only that back-alley asshole had a shitty knife and an unsteady hand.

I wince in pain, but tough it out. I can live with pain. Pain means you're not dead, so that means... we won, right? Me being alive clearly contradicts how badly Arlong wanted to murder our faces, right?

I look around and immediately think, _'Hospital... fuck.'_. I also take time to spot a very soundly sleeping Zoro in one of the other beds, bandaged up.

"Ah, seems you're awake." I turn to see an old man enter the room we're in. I recognize him as the doctor from Cocoyashi. "How are you feeling."

"Like my everything got run over by a boat." I say flatly, my voice a little dry. "What's the actual damage, or do I need to gander an educated guess?"

"Are you a doctor?" I shake my head. "Then it's not a very educated guess, is it?"

"Hardy har." I 'laugh'. "Just tell it to me straight. I'm a big girl. I can take it."

"You had seven broken ribs, your backbone was bruised, the bones in your right arm had broken in numerous spots, some minor internal bleeding and you got a concussion. You also have three deep cuts in your right side and arm, but those should heal up just fine." He said in one breath.

I blink dumbly at him. "Well... that's a lot more than I expected. I think it's a new record." I wonder out loud. "... Wait, cut? When was I cut?"

He raised an eyebrow. "You don't remember?"

"No, I remember but refuse to tell you because I don't take stock in the grumpy old doctor grandpa." I snark at him, showing I am indeed all good as far as my head goes. "Of course I can't. What's up with that?"

"... In my professional opinion, I think it's better if your friends explain that to you." He said and moved to leave the room.

"Oh, I see..." I say absentmindedly. "Wait, my what?"

The old doctor was gone, but it didn't take long for some _other_ people to arrive. The first one was very loud.

"Megalon!" Luffy yelled as he rushed into the room. He looked worried for some reason. "You alive?"

"No. Super dead." I said, picking my ear with my pinky finger. Fuck, that guy is loud.

"What?! You're dead?" He exclaims as his eyes bug out in shock.

"OF COURSE NOT, MORON!" I yell at him and immediately have regrets. Fuck my head hurts. I fall completely limp on the hospital bed. "...eeeurgh."

"Good to see you're okay, Megalon-san!" Sanji says as he enters after Luffy, being much more quiet and considerate. Then again, comparing the two is seriously unfair. "Do you need anything? A kiss to reinvigorate your spirits, perhaps?"

... Typical Sanji.

"Yeah, no." I state flatly. "Though, I do have to question why I feel like absolute shit. Apparently you are the guys to ask."

"I dunno." Luffy says instantly.

"Of course you don't, you weren't there to see when it happened." Sanji remarks and looks at me. His face is serious. Huh. "What do you recall?"

"Absolutely nothing after something about Luffy, the sea and... Arlong." I answer vaguely. "It's really unclear and fuzzy. I remember being mega angry. Like, more than usual."

Sanji takes a deep breath, lights a cigarette and takes a breath of that.

"Isn't smoking not allowed near people in hospitals?" I can't help but to ask.

"Do you care?" He asks.

"Fair point." I concede.

Sanji takes a moment, seemingly trying to find the best way to say what he wants to say. "Well, I'll just say it outright, since I think you're capable of taking it. You transformed."

"How the fuck does that explain why I'm so fucked up? I mean, I am a massive target, but even I'm not stupid enough to go full Megalodon while on land." I can't help but wonder.

"... Not that one." Sanji frowns. "You went hybrid."

"..." I stare at him, eyes wide, wondering if he's bullshitting me. "I what."

"You heard Arlong laugh at how he attempted to turn Luffy into food for the fish, and then you transformed into your hybrid form." He says levelly and- oh my God he isn't bullshitting me!

"What?! But how? I don't even know how to do that yet! I've tried but I've never done it before." I say, but shake my head. Skepticism for later. "Okay, what happened?"

Sanji glanced at Luffy, standing there obliviously. "Well, Luffy doesn't know yet, so might as well do two birds with one stone." He looked back to me, his eyes dead serious. "You went on a rampage."

... What.

"When you transformed you were not like yourself at all. I could literally see all the intelligence from your eyes vanishing. You beat one of Arlong's men, brutally, even while he was already down." Sanji elaborates.

"... Ah." I manage to say. "But what about-"

"I was getting to that." Sanji cut me off. "What you became... it was honestly a little terrifying. One of the villagers screamed, and you took notice."

My eyes widen in horror. "Please, tell me I didn't-"

"You didn't." Sanji assured me. I let out a subtle sigh of relief. "But you had to be stopped from trying. The Marimo took care of that."

Ah, that explains the cuts... wait a moment. "I was cut by Zoro? And I'm still alive?!"

Sanji looked annoyed and just a bit miffed. "I didn't like how he did it either, but before he snoozed off he said that it was necessary to stop you"

"... What technique?" I had to know.

"Something called "Three Thousand Worlds", or something." Sanji said. "The one he tried against that Mihawk guy."

"... HOW BADASS WAS I TO WARRANT THAT?!" I scream and have to hold my head to stop the thumping. But seriously, that is Zoro's ultimate Santoryu technique, and he required it to stop me! How the fuck am I still alive?!

"Well... you were pretty big." Sanji says, seemingly unable to find anything else to say.

"You saw me as a shark. Was it that big?" I asked.

"Not even close." He said. "But still pretty damn big. About five, six meters."

"Hot damn!" I let out whistle. "That's big, but small enough to be actually usable. I'm like a miniature giant." I try to picture it in my mind. I come out empty. Damn terrible imagination!

But then I get a bit worried. Sanji notices.

"Something wrong?"

"Yeah, you could say that." I say. "I just wondered if I even want to use it again, if I can do it again that is. I mean, if I flew that off the handle this time..." I can't imagine what I could do then.

Luffy, I just noticed, had been surprisingly quiet. Until then.

"That's so dumb, Megalon!" He says with a cheery grin. "Nobody got hurt, right? So it's all good." Well, nobody we gave a shit about, anyway.

"Say that again if and/or when I transform again and try to pound your stretchy ass to the ground." I growl at him, but mean nothing by it. No matter how annoying and moronic Luffy is, I don't want him to die, especially by my hand.

"Nah, that's okay. I'll just beat you up until you snap out of it." He says, and I wonder how he does it while sounding like it's true fact.

I allow myself to laugh. "Samememe- huh?" I stop. _That_ _laugh_. "Hmm, that was weird. My laugh just came out like that. It's... kinda familiar, somehow."

"You started laughing like that just before you started to go berserk." Sanji told me. "Guess it left some sort of imprint on your mind, or something."

... Holy shit, I have my very own One Piece laugh. That is... actually very cool!

I allow myself to grin. "Samememe! I suppose I came out of this with something that won't try to beat my confidence to the ground or demoralize me. Though that is pretty much impossible!"

"Shishishi!" Luffy laughs as well. "That's the spirit, Megalon!"

I pump my right arm as a sign of agreement, but then I realize it's my _right arm_ and FUCK it still smarts! That fucker cut right into the muscle! Thanks a lot, Zoro! I wince and relax it back to my side.

"I am so glad I'm a Zoan." I say, mostly to myself. "We're tough sons of bitches and we heal faster than you lot, so I should be up and at 'em before too long." That, and I am too stubborn to be confined by a mere hospital bed.

"When you get better there's going to be a party the village is throwing." Sanji says. "They are gonna celebrate Arlong's defeat and we are sort of the guests of honor."

"Ah, so you beat the fish-bastard." I say, giving Luffy a thumbs up. "Nice job!" He just laughs with a smile. "You guys should go do whatever. I'll catch up after a nap." I tell them.

"Sure thing. Don't do anything too stupid." Sanji order jokingly.

"Die in a fire." I needle him in return with a grin.

"Bye, Megalon! Let's hang out during the party!" Luffy says and waves at me.

"Wouldn't miss it!" I say, and then they go off somewhere to do whatever. I relax, close my eyes and do just what I promised. Sleep is the best medicine. Nap time!

 _... Friends...?_

* * *

I was up the moment I woke up, going against the doctors orders to let my wounds heal in peace. I had only one thing to say to that. Zoan, motherfucker! Faster than standard healing for the win!

I wasn't the only one either. Zoro woke up too, more or less right that the same time as I did.

Which lead to us having a stare-off. His glare against mine. I have to give it to him, his glare game is fucking amazing. But me? Glaring was ingrained into my soul. Still, props to him.

"Hi." I greet him plainly.

"Hello." He greets tersely.

"Grandwhite Megalon." I introduced myself, last name first as was proper.

"Roronoa Zoro." He did the same.

Oh, goody. We have a connection.

"You cut me." I stated matter-of-factly.

"I did." He answers in kind.

"Dick." I insult him in a passive tone. "Thank you."

"No problem." He says. Welp, glad that's over with!

"I'm gonna head out."

"Same."

"You didn't see me leave and I didn't see you." I say and turn to leave.

"See who?" He says and turns to leave.

Our head bump together as we both try to leave through the same window. Our glaring continues, now with 20% more fire and brimstone.

"Are you copying my style?" I say with narrowed eyes. Irritation levels, rising.

"What the hell are you talking about? It's you who's clearly copying me." I snarled at me with a fearsome glare that might have unsettled anyone not me.

"Oh, that so? What, you afraid to be beaten at being you by a _girl?"_ I say with a malevolent snicker. "Man up and get away from _MY_ window!"

"Eeh? _YOUR_ window? It's clearly mine!" He says with a challenging undertone I recognize.

"You fucking cut me!" I spat at him, our noses practically touching at this point as we glared at each other.

"Because you were going crazy!" He snapped back. "I thought you were thankful for it!"

I took pause and smiled sweetly. He winced and paled at the sudden change. "Why, I am thankful!" Then he gasps for air and grimaces as I punch him hard, right in the gut. "Doesn't mean I forgive you, Moss Head!"

What I get in return, other than utter satisfaction, is a hit to the jaw. I flinch back half a step. Fuck, Zoro has a strong uppercut! "What the hell is your problem?! You want to fight?"

" _MY_ problem?! Oh, that's it!" I yell and swing at him.

What followed was me and Zoro beating the shit out of each other until our bruises had bruises. Zoro was maybe the toughest bastard I've ever fought up until now, but I was not going absolutely seriously. I can tell he wasn't aiming to kill me either, so I restrained myself. And, you know, injuries and all.

But I still put up a hell of a fight. It took about eleven minutes for both of us to be covered in sweat, lying on the floor and covered in bruises. This was... not a new experience to me, not exactly. But...

I felt amazing!

"Samememe..." I laugh while panting. "You are... pretty tough."

"Yeah..." He says, panting as well. "You too..."

"I think my wounds... opened up, like... three minutes ago." I note.

"Same... four minutes." He says.

"Samememe... Pussy. Lasted longer than you." I laugh.

"You have a... a Devil Fruit. That doesn't count."

"... Yeah, okay. You win this time..." I grin. "Then again... my injuries aren't nearly as bad as yours."

"Not even close." Zoro grins.

"The doc is going to be so mad when he sees us." I grin back.

"Yeah." He agrees.

"Wanna bounce out of here before he comes around and chews our ears out?"

"Sure."

The doctor caught us just about to jump out the window and boy _,_ was he livid. He asked what the hell happened. "Nothing," we said in unison. He clearly didn't buy it and restrained us. I don't know how, but for some reason that old fart pulled off an herculean feat by dragging our asses back to bed and changing our bandages while we fought back with tooth and nail.

Never underestimate a pissed off person of medicine, is all I have to say.

Anyway, that's how Zoro and I first properly met.

We snuck out for real at the first moment the doc turned his back. We heard his screams grow fainter as we strutted out of there.

We met up with Luffy and the rest later.

I felt great.

* * *

The party at Cocoyashi was awesome!

Aside from getting yelled at by the doctor Zoro and I ditched(and not killing him, if that was even a possibility), everything went pretty great, some tension not withstanding. Some people were still a bit wary of me because of... whatever I tried to do when I was going a bit loco.

I think over time I won them over by having a great time.

Luffy and I got into an eating contest, with people staring with morbid fascination/horror. Luffy, because he ate so much he bloated to grotesque proportions. Me, because despite eating just as much and fast as Luffy, I just remained so _horrifyingly normal_. It was like any food just up and vanished into some endless abyss the moment I swallowed it.

I blame Devil Fruit bullshit. Sanji seemed resigned to pack a lot of provisions on the ship. He didn't seem happy about it though.

Zoro and I then got into a drinking contest. Drink of the occasion: sake! I'd never tried real sake before, but it was kind of great. I discovered that Zoro and I had amazing tolerances, but when I finally decided to back off and stop, I was pretty blitzed. Not _that_ drunk(yet), but I was really feeling it! And the green-haired _fucker_ dared to seem kinda okay.

I _think_ Usopp was avoiding me... Meh.

Sanji was busy keeping Luffy and Zoro from too much food and sake respectively, lest the village... like, starve or something. Or mutiny due to lack of spirits.

My head feels funny. I just love being drunk and I hate it so much!

Maybe that was why when I spotted distinctively orange hair at the sidelines, for some reason thought to myself, _'Hey, girl! That seems like a good person to bother... DOOO IIIT!'_

And then I did it.

I walked(swaying slightly) over to where Nami was, sitting alone and watching everyone. Probably having some down time. And I was going to go ruin it.

"Oiii, Tangerine~!" I say with a slight slurr to my words. She turns to me at the weirdly fitting nickname I called her with.

"Oh, hello..." Right, she don't know me yet, officially.

"Name'sh Megalon." I say with a relaxed, toothy grin and do some kind of weird hybrid between a bow and a curtsy. "I'm Luffy's... Fuck if I knows, samememe! Please'd to meet'cha, Miss Navigator."'

That laugh came so naturally it was almost frightening. Maybe I finally hit my head one too many times?

Then again, why should I care?

"Oh, I'm Nami." She greeted.

"I knows it. Luffy said... something about it on the way." I say. I might have looked puzzled trying to think back to past conversations. "Can't recall... was napping and then there was the shea cow and t'fucking mast..."

The last part came out in a low grumble, but I am sure Nami heard it.

"Umm... Are you drunk?"

"Yes." I say with the most serious face I can manage, in the most serious tone I can manage. That is pretty serious. Then I narrow my eyes dangerously. "S'at a problem?"

"Oh, no, I wouldn't say-" Nami blubbered, flustered and maybe a bit nervous of me. I just laughed at her reaction.

"Samememe! Relax, Tangerine~." I wrap an arm over her shoulders and playfully nudge her with my other. "I'm just playin' you, you dumb shit!" I flash her a smile.

Then I realize she stiffens as she looks at my teeth. I stop smiling and turn my look back to serious.

"Somethin' up with ya?" I ask, quickly adding. "And don't try to say it's nothin'! I ain't no fool, yea?" I let that float in the air for a second.

"Oh, it's n-" I glare at her, not amused. She sighs. "Sorry. Just... your teeth, they-"

"Remind you of Mr. Sawnose McFishdick? Yeas, I figured." I finish for her. I bonk her on the head with my head. Not hard I swear, just a playful gesture. "That's dumb. You're dumb. Being afraid of some dumb dentures. Dumb-dumb..."

... This booze is really starting to get to me. I'm beginning to sound like Luffy. Oh good God...

I think my eyes just went cross-eyed, because Nami laughs. She notices me staring and covers her mouth. "Ah, sorry. Just, with everything that has gone down lately... it feels good to laugh again."

"Samememe." I chuckle. "Laughing _is_ fun. S'long as you don't feel bad about it later, you can laugh all you want. Especially if ya feel justified, damnit!"

"Oh?" Nami questions with a wily smirk. "You know quite a lot of this subject, right? Anything shameful?"

"What's shame?" I ask with mock-confusion. "That some sort of food?"

We stare at each other a bit before we burst out laughing. I think I eased her worries of me somewhat. All in all, a good proper first meeting. I let her go and stand up straight, swaying a bit.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to g'see if Curly Brow has killed Rubber Boy and Moss Head yet." I begin to sway off and wave at Nami over my shoulder with a small toothy grin. "S'ya later, Tangerine~."

Nami smiles and waves back at me as I go enjoy the party some more.

* * *

"... uuurgh." I groan. The sun is so fucking bright! Bright sunlight and hangovers do not mix. Fuck the sun!

I was leaning on the railing of the Going Merry(nice to finally see it in person, by the way) and cradling my head to shield myself of the vile rays of brightness.

"What's wrong with you?" Zoro has the gall to asks.

"Fuck off." I snap at him, completely passionless. "You have no right to not be feeling this too, you booze monster."

"Lightweight." He scoffs at me.

I am too done to snap back at him, but fuck you too, Zoro! You drank at least as much as I did! How the _fuck_ are you _not_ feeling this?!

"Here's the water you asked, Megalon-san!" Sanji proclaims, too loud if I was asked but my opinion was hardly unbiased. He was holding a tray with a big pint of water and a larger pitcher filled with the stuff.

"Thanks. Leave the pitcher." I groan and that water disappears into me in a single go. "... Guuuuh, why can't there be an instant fix to hangovers? Some man would make mad money out of that."

We were ready to depart from Cocoyashi and move onto our next destination. I was suffering the aftermath of the party yesterday. Fucking hell, why did something as great as drinking need to be counter-balanced by something so fucking stupid as hangovers?

Everyone was on the deck of Going Merry, even Usopp. Bastard didn't have any more excuse to avoid me anymore, but I was _not_ in the fucking mood right now. Everyone was there, except one individual who had yet to arrive.

"Hey, you sure she's going to show up?" Zoro questions, considering how fucking long we've been waiting already.

"She'd fucking better!" I snap lazily, probably sounding more irritated than I actually was. "I'm going to find and drag her ass here myself if I have to. I didn't go bat shit crazy and get slashed for her to chicken out."

"She'll be here." Luffy said, filled with faith.

"LUFFYYY!" And there is Nami, yelling. About time. "SET SAIL!"

"Hey, what is she doing? She isn't even on yet!" Sanji exclaims, looking over the railing. I don't bother to move from my spot.

Luffy just grins. "You heard her! Let's go!"

Everyone went to prep us for takeoff, except me because fuck if I know what to do. I'm not a fucking sailor. I just swear like one.

I just stood there and watched through my fingers as Nami jumped onto the Merry's rear deck. Then she lifted her shirt and a shit-load of wallets dropped out. Cries of fond outrage came from the citizens of Cocoyashi.

Nami is such a scamp.

"Nice going, Nami." I say with a grin.

She... pouts. "What? I'm no longer Tangerine~?"

I groan extra loudly at the way she practically purred the nickname. "God damnit, I called you that didn't I? I was drunk. That's my excuse. It won't happen again."

"No, no. I don't mind at all." Nami said with a smile. "You can call me whatever you want, Sharpy-chan."

I almost choke on my own spit and scramble in place, hands coming off my face as I stare at Nami in surprise. "W-what?"

"Sharpy. Because you have sharp teeth." She explains. "You can call me whatever you want, but only if I can do the same. Okay?"

...

I let myself shift into a predatory grin. "Samememe! Alright then, Tangerine. I accept these terms."

I said the last part without any purr or weird inflection to it. I do have standards.

And so we, the Straw Hat Pirates, were off to the one, final stop before Grand Line.

 **Episode 5**

 _ **Fin~**_

 **Next Episode** : Landing in Loquetown! Gifts From An Old "Friend"?

* * *

 **¤[!BONUS ALERT!]¤**

I was snoozing my ass off in the crow's nest when a loud shout alerted me to the waking world.

"LUFFY! GET OVER HERE! NOW!" Nami shouts at her- _our_ captain.

I grin. His wanted posters came today, eh? Good for him. I tried to drift back into slumber.

"MEGALON, YOU COME HERE TOO!" Sanji shouted suddenly.

I started awake with a jolt, jumping up. "Wait, what- GAAAAH!" I yelled and tripped, managing to throw myself out of the crow's nest and landing face first onto the deck below. "Uuuurgh..."

Thank _God_ for Zoan durability, because that'd have hurt something fierce.

"You okay, Sharpy-chan?" Nami asks me. No concern there, but she knows I'm tough.

"Yeah... Nose is sore, but fuck that." I say and get on my feet. "So, what's the buzz?"

"Look at these!" She held up Luffy and Zoro's wanted posters.

 **"Straw Hat" Monkey D. Luffy**

 **Bounty: 30 Million Beri**

Nothing unusual there. But my eyes are locked onto the _second_ wanted poster. My eyes bugged out.

"See!" Nami cried in misery-fueled anger. "This is super bad for us! There will be marines and bounty hunters on our tail-"

"What the hell is that thing?" I ask, staring at the soullessly blank-eyed, musclebound monstrosity on the wanted poster, roaring at the sky like a bloodthirsty beast.

 **"Devil Man-Shark" Samehada**

 **Bounty: _50 million Beri_**

"... What?" Nami said in confusion at my reaction.

"Megalon-san, that's you." Sanji answered. "That's you when you went berserk."

I stare at the picture. _My_ wanted picture. Only...

A vein pops. Then another. And a third, because three's the word, yo.

"WHAT THE HELL?!" I scream bloody murder, making everyone take a step back. "I GET MY OWN GOD DAMN BOUNTY, AND IT'S NOT EVEN FUCKING ADDRESSED TO ME?! INSTEAD THAT DAMN THING GETS ITS OWN DAMN POSTER? IT'S SO UNAPPEALING TOO! WHY THE FUCK DOES MY FORM LOOK SO FUCKING MANLY? WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT?!"

As I continue to rave, curse and scream, everyone does the smart thing and leaves me the fuck alone.

Why does this universe love to fuck with me so much? It better be because I'm a girl, because then _at least_ the universe is able to FUCKING TELL!

* * *

 **A/N: And it was only a day later that she realized "Holy shit, my bounty is bigger than Luffy's... _WHY?!_ ". We may never know exactly. FYI, this is almost purely just a gag. It's canon, but it's a gag. Don't take it too seriously. Besides, "Samehada" looks _butt-loads_ more menacing and dangerous than Luffy, so a higher bounty kinda makes sense.  
**

 **Fun Fact: "Samehada", as this alter-ego shall be dubbed is - surprise, surprise - a shark related name. It means _shark skin_ in Japanese! It also doubles as a Naruto reference, if you squint.**

 **Anyway, crew interaction! Some of it, anyway! Establishing different relations with everyone who hasn't properly met our spit-fire yet. Except Usopp. Wonder what's up with that?**

 **So, we leave Cocoyashi behind and move on to the final stretch before Grand Line. Loguetown! The city of the beginning and the end! We might even meet a familiar face we haven't seen in a while and say hello, too. Heh-heh-heh...**

 **Not much else to say here. Hmm? _What was that?_ A flashback? What are you talking about? There is no flashback anywhere. You're crazy.  
**

 _ **~Till Next Episode~**_


End file.
